archer-vice-house-call-FX.jpgThis week on “Archer,” Gary Cole returns as Agent Holley, who definitely has his suspicions about what the “Vice” squad is up to — but he can’t prove anything.

Pam is still chowing down on the drugs. It’s making her kind of crazy, “King Kong” strong and has given her a svelte new cocaine figure. Woo hoo?

It’s nice to see Woodhouse has gotten himself out of both the empty pool and the old-timey gymnasium. Hope he wasn’t too mad about his phone.

Meanwhile, Krieger has perfected his mind-control chip, which they use to help Cheryl get over her stage fright and a star is born. Named Cherlene. Who might burn the house to the ground if she doesn’t get some eggs and Carolina fries. Excellent.

Best Lines:

Cyril: “We are already down 125 kilos of cocaine, which was worth about $6 million.”
Archer: “How much is that in pounds?”
Cyril: “Forget pounds, we’re doing kilos!”
Archer: “No, I meant pounds –“
Malory: “Sterling!
Archer: “Exactly, as in ‘Doctor Who’ money.”

Malory: “Lick it!”
Archer: “Ugh, well, OK, can’t unhear that.”

Archer: “You know how strong she is, might as well be green and half-deaf.”

Malory: “Now you listen to me, missy. You are getting a brain chip and then you’re going on the Grand Old Opera and I don’t care if it kills you.”

Lana: “So, just so we’re clear, you want us to tranquilize a federal agent?”
Malory: “Do you have a better idea?”
Lana: “… I do not.”

Cyril: “How do you not know the different kinds of porn?
Archer: “Because I have sex with actual women, Cyril. My girlfriend’s not equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and a sock.”

Ray: “You scared the s*** out of me.”
Cheryl: “What, literally?”

Krieger: “This house is insane!”
Cyril: “And scary and gross and I’m pretty sure I smelled a skeleton.”

Cherlene: “Cheryl’s gone. I’m Cherlene now. And if somebody don’t fry me six god**** eggs and some Carolina fries, I would personally be shocked — shocked, I tell you — if by morning this place ain’t burnt to the ground.”

GIFs:

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."