The Hannah (Katheryn Winnick)/Booth (David Boreanaz) storyline that’s brought us more than halfway through Season 6 of “Bones” has come to an abrupt end. And though that’s to be expected — Booth’s reaction was not.
Our warm, confident hero has officially dissolved into a card-carrying member of the He-Man Women Hater’s Club. Is there any escape? Of course, though it certainly doesn’t seem that way now.
Full analysis of the destruction of Boonah, ahead, as well as some bits on the particularly disgusting case of the week.
For the squints:
- Our victim, covered in sludge and suffering from hundreds of (healed) broken bones is hilariously referred to by Hodgins (T.J. Thyne) as a moldy crash test dummy, which makes us think about one of those annoying guys from the ’90s commercials meeting an untimely end. But this isn’t just any old mold, he notes that it’s more commonly known as “dog vomit slime mold.” And so begin a series of likely overlooked one-liners in an episode that gets real dark.
- How much would you all be offended if we admitted that we sort of loath Fisher (Joel Moore)? We’ve never been able to recover from his cross-promotional “Avatar” episode in which be had sex in a tent… in public. The whole “ways to stop being suicidal” thing is just making us wish he’d get on with it already.
- Via the magic of scientific deduction, we learn that the body was a BMX biker (subculture alert!), and to make the whole dead thing even worse, apparently he was covered in bedbugs.
- … Bedbugs he got from wiping out on dirty mattresses. Disgusting. This is literally the most disgusting thing that has ever happened on Bones, and we’ve seen every episode.
- It’s Stoner Noel (Scoot McNairy)! Where has he been and why can’t he just work at the Jeffersonian? [Sidenote: “I’m Noel, my eyes are red from allergies” is one of the better introductions we’ve ever heard.”]
- Something else we’d like to see more of: Angela Montenegro (Michaela Conlin) out in the field. Her bad cop tactics remind us of Brennan (Emily Deschanel), circa Season 2.
- This episode does not paint BMX-ers to be a particularly hygienic light. Not only do they roll around in dirty mattresses, they exchange teeth like friendship bracelets. But that rules out another suspect and leads us to the perpetrator, who feels bad, leaving a suspicious 8 minutes left at the end of the episode…
For the shippers:
- Hannah, Booth and Brennan share a meal at the diner, where Booth avoids eating. He’s hungover (and, apparently, getting old) from a night of guy talk with Sweets (John Francis Daley). Hannah makes annoying girlfriend questions, like “Did you talk about me?
- Both Sweets and Booth are mulling popping the question for their respective ladies. And since we’re almost positive that Daisy is going to bite it by the end of the season, it’s good that Sweets is having second thoughts. Booth isn’t, though. He buys the gaudiest engagement ring in the case. The saleswoman makes a somewhat portentous remark of “What a wonderful man.”
- Booth meets Hannah in front of the Lincoln Memorial, which is a gut-punch all on it’s own. He proposes and is rejected… for at least three minutes. Honestly, was this as painful for you as it was for us? Hannah’s lingering, the “not the marrying kind,” the “maybe we’ll get back together” shtick… it’s torture, it’s deja vu. He throws the ring into the reflecting pool, because this poor guy has really been put through the emotional ringer. But that sort of doesn’t excuse what happens next.
- We get a quick self-loathing drinking montage set to a cover of “Buckets of Rain,” when Brennan finally joins him at the bar. To say he’s antagonistic would be an understatement.
- Streaming tears, Booth turns into what we can only describe as an emo caveman. “What is it with women who don’t want what I’m offering here” and “I’m just mad at all of you” are just some of the golden nuggets he drops. We feel bad, but it’s a pretty gross display.
- Finally, he gives Brennan an ultimatum: to be his cordial partner and watch him drown his sorrows or to hit the road and wait for him to assign her a new FBI agent. She chooses to stay, though it seems it could have gone either way.
Right now we’re guessing that Hannah haters aren’t quite rejoicing. Yes, she’s gone. Though, of all the ways for her to go out, this is only slightly worse than if she’d been shot to death during their wedding vows, carrying their unborn child. But that’s enough from us. Thoughts?