Welcome back, “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” fans … old and new. Are you new to the show since its Golden Globe nominations? We welcome you, to one of the best comedies of the year. Join us.
Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) is back! He took a bullet for the precinct, and he’s back! And in a “butt cast.” Pants don’t fit over his butt cast, so he’s borrowed his mom’s legwarmers, and lucky for him — and us — he’s fully mobile on a scooter with two “reacher-grabbers.” However, a bullet didn’t make Boyle any less annoying. He’s bothering everyone, but they all feel guilty about it since, yes, he took a bullet for them. They all retreat to the evidence room to hide instead of asking him to go home.
Craig Robinson, who recently got a green light at NBC for a new comedy, is guest starring as Doug Judy, pulled in by Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) for twelve counts of identity thief. But he has information about the “Pontiac Bandit” and wants to work out a deal with Peralta (Andy Samberg.) Peralta says the “Pontiac Bandit” is his “nemesis,” and he’s been chasing him for eight years. Rosa agrees to cut Doug a deal, after Peralta throws down their police academy code phrase: “1,000 pushups.” He’s so sure Doug is telling the truth and he can nab the “Pontiac Bandit” (or Bill to his friends) with Doug’s friends, that he’ll do 1,000 pushups if he’s wrong.
Peralta and Rosa take Doug home to pick up his phone, and see his mother, who has no idea about his real profession (“she thinks I own an architecture firm with all white employees.”) There, Doug and Peralta have a bonding moment over laserdiscs and “Fievel Goes West,” and Peralta — who looks like a cop according to Doug — changes into a “triple breasted” white outfit that Rosa says makes him look like a “Boyz 2 Men Easter Album.” The Bandit, though, sends a scout, who blows them off, and tells Doug he has to show up alone next time. Rosa breaks it off because she’s not sure it’s going to work, and Peralta raises the ante to 2,000 pushups. If you’ve figured out so far that this is going to fail, you’re good.
Peralta puts a wire on Doug and sends him to meet with the Bandit. When they follow up with the raid, Doug is gone and they realize he was actually the “Bandit.” For years, he’s been telling his associates to describe his barber instead. The “scout” was actually Doug’s associate, who met him with a getaway car. And he’s gone.
Notably, Peralta doesn’t get the guy in the end! For the first time in the series, he’s been thwarted! Craig Robinson lives on, to perhaps guest star again. But Peralta does honor the pact … at least until push-up 901, when he becomes crying mess.
In the meantime, Capt.Holt (Andre Braugher) is trying to pawn off two puppies, Richard and Dan (yes, he named them Richard and Dan,) so he carries them around for the entire episode. In the end, they all decide that Boyle, needy, recuperating Boyle, is the person to take care of the dogs.
A reacher-grabber salute to Joe Lo Truglio, who continues to be both incredibly likable and grating at the same time as Boyle. And show of hands: who is looking forward to meeting Capt.Holt’s husband? Soon. That’s happening soon.
“Cold milk … cold milk … coming out the bottom … of the cast.” – Boyle “Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.” – Rosa “I thought my lunch choices were, quote/unquote, ‘horrifying adventures in
diarrhea.'” – Boyle
“Today, Charles, we take that adventure with you.” – Santiago
“Asian dude, maybe 5’8”, spiky black hair, rocks in both ears, always wears a black
suit, and speaks with a British accent, like my girl, Dame Judy Dench.” – Doug
“That’s the hoof! That’s the best part of the stew! Oh man. Think of it as marrow
nugget wrapped in a thick toenail.” – Boyle
“Fievel?” – Doug
“Papa?” – Peralta
“Fievel!” – Doug
“Papa!” – Peralta
“FIEVEL!” – Doug
“I sent all the captain’s calls here, my phone battery is at 100% charge, and I have
ten loose diner mints in my purse. This is my home now.” – Gina
“One of you is a criminal and other one is dressed like Steve Harvey.” – Rosa