best lines march 9 15 community pretty little liars shield 'Community,' 'Pretty Little Liars' and more best lines from March 9 15A round-up of the best TV lines for the week of March 9-15.


John Ross: “You can get your men aboard my train, or you can watch ’em get run over.”

Bobby: “Sometimes, the truth hurts.”
Trevino: “It’ll be interesting to see who it’ll hurt more.”


Booth: “You shot me once.”
Brennan: “It was a ricochet, it doesn’t count!”


Krieger: “ISIS had satellites. The, whatever we are, Gang Who Couldn’t Sell Coke Straight, doesn’t even have cable.”

Sterling: “Guys, if we get out of this, the first thing I’m gonna do, I swear to God –“
Ray: “If you say, ‘buy a tiger,’ we will beat you to death with your own shoes.”


Shawn: “If he wants to turn a blind eye to my skill set for four years running, then he can eat a hot, steaming bowl of suck-it soup.”

Gus: “Is there a green room, Randall? If so, I drink only vitamin water. Not the sports drink, just regular Evian with crushed vitamins — Flintstones chewables, all Barneys.”

“Teen Wolf”:

Agent McCall: “This place is literally the Bermuda Triangle of homicides, disappearances and strange occurrences.”


Dean Pelton: “Payday is postponed until next week, so this is my freestyle-rap apology.”

Shirley to Hickey: “Why do you have so much access to rope?”


Donna: “That present is the reason I buy your present for me on Secretary’s Day.”
Harvey: “There’s a Secretary’s Day?”
Donna: “There is. And you’re very generous.”

“Agents of SHIELD”:

Lady Sif: “Rest easy, Philip, son of Coul.”

“Pretty Little Liars”:

Spencer: “I’m not going to meet him behind a dumpster to cook meth, I’m just walking next door.”

Mrs. DiLaurentis: “A seafood parfait is not a finger food. No one wants to ruin a manicure digging shrimp out of a skinny cup!”


Boyd: “Miller, would you call this a herd, a gaggle or a flock of a**holes?”
DEA Agent Miller: “I would call this a United Nations of a**holes.”

“How I Met Your Mother”:

Marshall tells Lily they’re moving to Italy: “It’s your dream, and you’re giving me mine — again.”

“True Detective”:

Rust: “You’re lookin’ at it wrong, the sky thing. … Once there was only dark. You ask me, the light’s winning.”

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."