louis kendra fog 'Dancing With the Stars' Diary: Spills, thrills and a new gig for the 'Lost' smoke monsterZap2it‘s weekly “‘Dancing with the Stars’ Diary” offers fans a backstage pass to everybody’s favorite only reality competition that throws celebrities at the mercy of that fickle mistress we call dance.

It’s Story Week on “Dancing With the Stars,” and of all the tales of love, struggle and loss… nothing tugged on our heart strings quite like the parable of Sally Frosty Knickers and the Tin Man.

Len Goodman (the Tin Man, per our cherished Tom Bergeron) spent most of the episode showing his lack of a heart — raining on parades, handing out low scores and being his curmudgeonly self. But during one of his not-so-senior moments, praising Chelsea Kane‘s Cha Cha Cha about her first love, he revealed the unbecoming moniker of his own first love. Sally Frosty Knickers.

Oh Brits, you never cease to amaze and intrigue us.

But that isn’t all there is to talk about tonight. Oh no. Dancers fell over! Unlikely competitors went to the head of the class! And Ralph Macchio courted our vote by talking about “The Outsiders.” Let’s break it down the only way we know how.

We didn’t see it coming

  • Kendra Wilkinson finally proved she’s a force to be reckoned with in this competition, delivering a damn sexy Rumba — despite the handicap of an overzealous fog machine. (We think we saw Mr. Echo’s face in that cloud.) Her score left her tied for 2nd place. And Bruno’s comment that “there’s nothing wrong with a good stripper” only made us mildly uncomfortable.
  • Did anyone else do a double take when Petra Nemcova took the floor for that straight up ethereal Waltz? The only (intentionally) slow moves of the night were delivered perfectly, showing Petra isn’t just learning from all the feedback, she’s here to win. 
  • In all our “DWTS” watching, few moments have left us as icky and nervous as Maks and Kirstie Alley‘s spill at the beginning of their ill-fated Rumba. Yes, they recovered, but not nearly as well as the generous judges have them credit for. Maks seems to be in good spirit though. (We’ll have more on that later.)

Scores and steps

  • At the top of their game this week? An unexpected tie between Petra and Hines Ward, both of whom ended the evening with cumulative scores of 25 and the season’s first 9s. The judges are not being subtle about their love of Hines.
  • Sharing the #2 spot, with 23 each, are Kendra and Chelsea. We loved the reaction to Chelsea’s Cha Cha Cha, especially after last week’s questionably low-scoring Jive. 
  • Falling behind for another week are Kirstie and Ralph. They both got their lowest scores yet (21), tying with Chris Jericho.
  • Near the bottom are Sugar Ray Leonard and Romeo (both at 20). Neither fellow managed to wow the judges, though Sugar Ray can boast his strongest performance to date.
  • And then there’s Wendy Williams. It’s week 3 and she got a 15. That’s all we can really say.

Backstage banter

  • We were more than a little smitten with Sugar Ray’s song choice (Bobby Brown‘s “My Prerogative”), so we had to ask. “That song is so emotional,” he told Zap2it backstage. “It was a time in my life and my career when I went up against my naysayers, my doubters, my critics and I kept coming back.” (If anyone ever asks you want Britney Spears and Sugar Ray Leonard have in common, now you know.)
  • “Believe it or not, I was dancing in the smoke,” Kendra told press backstage, of the night’s unfortunate smoke machine overdoes. “My hottest moves were in the smoke… I didn’t know where I was. You know how people say they don’t know which way is up in an avalanche? Same exact feeling.”
  • It struck us as odd that so many of the emotional stories were set to… Latin gyrations, so we asked Cheryl Burke if it’s weird choreographing such somber matters to sensual dances. “It’s the music and the emotion that sends your body in the direction it needs to go,” she says. “Hearing the song, even if it wasn’t story week, I would do it with the same choreography. It’s not a sexy, sultry song,” she says of Chris’s choice (“Let It Be”). “It doesn’t make you want to bump and grind, it makes you want to be pretty and create movement and motion together as a couple.”

Well, that’s all we’ve got from the United Dance Emirates for tonight. Tomorrow? We say goodbye to another competitor, whittling our troupe of stars down to the single digits. Will it be Wendy? Anything could happen. (Just kidding. It’s totally going to be Wendy.)

Posted by:Mikey O'Connell