Another season of “Duck Dynasty” is in the books and the hour-long Season 5 finale on Wednesday (Mar. 26) was a little out of the ordinary. Sure, there were a couple of good Jase vs. Willie zingers (the epic toast and pizza wrestling match!), but at the heart of this episode was a little girl who wanted a party.
Stand by Mia
Mia Robertson, Jase and Missy’s daughter, is facing her fifth surgery to address her cleft lip and palate. Poor thing. While Jase can be a little rough around the edges, he’s a big old softie when it comes to his kids. Just the look in his eyes when he’s talking with her will make you melt. Before her surgery, Jase and Missy give her the option to do whatever she wants as a big send off. After hearing about some famous Uncle Willie and Daddy wrestling matches, she chooses a big family reunion, with all of the extended cousins as well. Awww.
But first they have to set up for the shindig, and Jase doesn’t want to let his little girl down. While he doesn’t like decorating, “Cut to the Chase” Jase is making this event count (his old nickname is reinvented as a wrestling catchphrase.) He and “Get Back to Work” Willie rent a full-sized wrestling ring to really show off the Robertson skills for Mia. And they go at it, full luchador, WWE style. There were probably quite a few bruises afterwards.
Phil’s brother-in-law Gordon shows up in a pink polo and khakis. As Phil says, “he married in.” And when Gordon says he’s a better shot than Phil at duck hunting, it’s on. After a getting a mud baptism and borrowing some stinky old hunting clothes, it turns out polo-wearing Gordon isn’t as good as a hunter as he made himself out to be. He does get one duck, redeeming himself slightly in Phil’s eyes, but it’s doubtful the “yuppie” will be invited back to the duck blind.
In the end, there’s a big bunch of extended family, a lot of camo and beards, a couple of semi-professional wrestlers to spar against, a ton of food and a very brave little girl who won’t be able to eat solid food for a three months. We wish her all the best, and hope she’s gotten some chicken nuggets by now.
- “What was the line to make you say ‘I think I’ll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?'” – Phil to his sister
“She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.” – Gordon
“I don’t.” – Miss Kay
- “No. ‘Hey’ is just a word. One word.” – Si
- “I have found ticks in my whiskers.” – Phil. Ewww.
- “Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.” – Korie
- “Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.” – Jase
All in all though, this season was pretty sedate. Coming off all the Phil Robertson controversy at the end of 2013, I’m not surprised Season 5 was quiet and low-key, with a minimum of PR. I suspect the Robertsons are just fine with going radio silent until the fall. Season 6 has been confirmed though, fans!