jimmy kimmel emmys 2014 getty Emmys 2014: Jimmy Kimmel rips Matthew McConaughey for being too handsome for TVBefore handing out the 2014 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, TV host Jimmy Kimmel took several minutes to riff on Matthew McConaughey, who is at the Emmys for his nomination for “True Detective.”

Kimmel says:

“I have a question. I don’t mean to ruin anything, but is that Matthew McConaughey right there? You got so fat since the Oscars, I almost didn’t recognize you.

“Why is Matthew McConaughey nominated for a television award? Matthew McConaughey doesn’t even own a television. I happen to know for a fact that he traded his television for a conch shell full of weed.”

McConaughey: “That was Woody!”

“No, that wasn’t Woody. Woody’s a television guy. Don’t get me wrong, you were great in ‘True Detective,’ you may well be the best actor, but you just won the Oscar like five months ago. No offense, but how many of those speeches of yours are we supposed to sit through? I mean, alright, alright, alright already. Should we give you the BET award for the best hip hop artist too, while we’re at it?

“You beautiful son of a b****. Look at that face. That’s not a television face, that’s a movie star face right there. Where’s Ricky [Gervais]? Ricky, now that is a television face. Not even really a television face, it’s a Netflix face.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna give out an award — not to you, someone else — and while I’m doing it, I want you and your brother Rooster to pack up your bongos and your patchouli oil and your bong shaped like Willie Nelson’s boot and go to Burning Man or something because you don’t belong here. And take Julia Roberts with you while you’re at it.”

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."