how i met your mother mermaid theory 'How I Met Your Mother': Crazy Eyes II, the return of Crazy Eyes

In a chronologically frenetic outing, even by “How I Met Your Mother” standards, “The Mermaid Theory” looks into the not-so-distant future where Lily (Alyson Hannigan) will be toting a full baby belly and Ted (Josh Radnor) triumphantly dons a dress. Per usual, “more on that later.”

In the present, there’s finally some exposition on “The Captain,” Zoey’s (Jennifer Morrison) inattentive, maritime-obsessed husband, played to schizophrenic perfection by  Kyle McLaughlin.

Zoey has officially wormed her way into the gang as of Blitzgiving, and though romance still seems far from both of their minds, she and Ted sort of accidentally find themselves on a date. Naturally, The Captain invites him on a boozy boat ride for two, which Ted assumes is a one-way trip… to his doom.

Other lessons learned:

  • We never really noticed, but Marshall (Jason Segel) and Robin (Cobie Smulders) aren’t exactly friends. The two attempt to rectify their lack of of relationship outside the group by going out to dinner, only to find they have nothing to talk about — not even cold weather sports, which is absurd considering she’s from Canada and he’s from Minnesota*. That’s hours worth of conversation right there.
  • Turns out the major obstacle for Marshall and Robin is Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) “Mermaid Theory” that, after spending a certain amount of time with an unattractive or platonic female, she will ultimately become attractive. Marshall lives in fear of one day finding Robin hot, but fortunately for him, she’s also a messy drunk. Just as Robin’s about to make this transition, she vomits at his feet.
  • Ted is convinced that his boat ride with the Captain will end in his death because of something Zoey did during their friend-date. Instead of being honest with her husband about who she was with, she told him she was “out with friends.”
  • But the Captain isn’t at all insecure about his wife’s fidelity, he just feels out-cooled by her young, hip, non-crazy-eyed friends. The ominous boat ride is intended as a bonding trip for them. (The Captain, incidentally, has replaced Becky (Laura Bell Bundy) as our favorite “HIMYM” Season 6 addition.)
  • All of the confusion over Barney and Lily’s storyline sort of annoyed us for the first half of the episode, but when the time line and gender issues were resolved, it was actually quite adorable. Lily doesn’t get enough screen time away from Marshall.

Oh, and a quick poll for you readers: Did you think anything was off about the disembodied narration of Bob Saget last night? We honestly didn’t notice a difference but we’ve heard more than a few claiming it was a Saget impostor.

*A previous version of this article mistakenly referred to Marshall’s home state as Wisconsin, when he is, in fact, from St. Cloud, Minnesota. Please forgive this egregious error.

Posted by:Mikey O'Connell