i-wanna-marry-harry-premiere-FOX.jpgThe premiere episode of “I Wanna Marry ‘Harry'” is everything you are hoping it will be and more. We’re stockpiling our wine in preparation of the premiere in May, but to tide you over until then, here are the 15 best lines from the debut episode.

  • “We will go to extreme lengths to protect his identity.”
  • “It’s every girl’s dream — rich, handsome, and, for those who dream big enough, royal.”
  • “We’re at Downton Abbey!”
  • “We don’t have tea parties where I’m from. I don’t think Long Island Iced Teas count.”
  • “My name’s Chelsea. I’m a little off my rocker, but it’s fine. … I hope I don’t sound ignorant saying this, but I don’t know what Prince Harry looks like.”
  • “Who else has Secret Service? The queen? The president? Michael Jackson? I don’t think he’s any of them.”
  • “I hope I have what it takes to be next to somebody with such stature.”
  • “I just feel like everything keeps adding up. Why is Kingsley calling him ‘sir’? I mean, this must be Prince Harry.”
  • “I’m awesome but at the same time can be a b****.”
  • “Don’t do too much alcohol tonight, sir, in case you give the game away.”
  • “There’s fire-breathing dragons.”
  • “The guys I’m used to dating just get me drunk and make out with me in the back of the bar.”
  • “American girls don’t seem to have inside voices. … They’re very forward.”
  • “There are a lot of girls in the house that aren’t princess material.”
  • “Even though they’re like smiling at me — their face is saying, ‘How was it?’, but their eyes are saying, ‘I’m gonna shank you in your sleep!'”

The network is billing this as: “Summer love is in the air, as an average English ‘bloke’ is given the royal treatment and an upper-crust makeover before meeting 12 single American women searching for Prince Charming. Will he be able to convince them he’s regal? And if he does, will they fall for the crown, or fall in love with the real him? Join ‘Harry’ as he courts each of the ladies, taking them on romantic dates worthy of a princess and trying to make some version of their fairytales come true.”

That, or this is going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions. Fingers crossed there’s some in-the-woods nookie like on “Joe Millionaire.”

“I Wanna Marry ‘Harry'” premieres Tuesday, May 27 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on FOX.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."