The Series 9 premiere of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” has come and it brought the show to a very funny new low. Just in case you thought the gang didn’t put Sweet Dee (Kaitlin Olson) through enough, they went extreme in “The Gang Broke Dee.”
Somehow, at her lowest point in life Dee turns the motto “The joke’s on me” into a stand up comedy career. Joking about just how disgusting she’s become is something the people want. Her act brings her quick fame and a private jet to Los Angeles, after turning her back on the gang once and for all.
The show could never let that happen though, because in life the joke is always on Dee. So, of course, the whole thing was a clever ruse by the gang. Well, everyone except Dennis (Glenn Howerton), who wasn’t in on it and actually tried to apologize to Dee for setting her up with a guy who was no prize. She kicked him in the face and told him “Suck my d***.” Somehow Frank, Mac and Charlie paid off dozens of people to convince Dee she was funny, rented a private jet to fly her around and even got Conan O’Brien to say her name. If they can pull all of that off, they deserve to win.
Take a look at some of the best lines below. Of course, “best” is relative, because of some them are pretty mean spirited.
Dennis: I would like to find you a man. A man to settle down with. I’m not talking about a smart man, not a handsome man, but a very very average, if not below average man to take you off our hands forever.
Dee: I passed out at the park the other day and a couple kids wrote “Wash Me” in the filth on my vagina.
Dennis: This is Walt. He’s got no self esteem, just like Dee. So they’re perfect for each other.
Mac: She said “vagina!” A woman said “vagina!”
Dennis: Dee let me be very clear about something. You will never suceed. Ever. Instead you will fly too close to the sun and you will choke and you will gag in a spectacular manner. So please, for the love of God, take Walt.
Chris E. Hayner is equal parts nerd, crazy person and coffee. He watches too much TV, knows more about pro wrestling than you do and remembers every single show from the TGIF lineup. You may have seen him as a pro-shark protester in "Sharknado 3." His eventual memoir will be called "You're Wrong, Here's Why..." TV words to live by: "I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."