james franco roast jokes James Franco Roast: The best jokes from Seth Rogen, Sarah Silverman and more

Comedy Central’s roast James Franco was one for the ages, with the dais of his peers not holding back. Well, no one except Andy Samberg who mostly roasted himself and complimented everyone else, including God. Most of the jokes aimed at Franco questioned his sexuality. Jonah Hill was another constant target of the roasters, who repeatedly pointed out his fluctuating weight, based on whatever movie he’s making at the moment.
The dais seemed more like a big group of friends than roasts in the past, which makes sense as several of those involved have shown up in various Judd Apatow productions. There was also that mean-spirited edge missing, which usually comes from Anthony Jeselnik these days.
Take a look below at our favorite jokes from the night. As is normally the case with these roasts, the language can be pretty harsh, so consider yourself warned.
Seth Rogen: This dais is literally Hitler’s wet dream. It’s got Jews, gays and whatever Aziz is.

Nick Kroll: Many of you might not know that Seth has a writing and directing partner named Evan Goldberg. What does this other guy look like that you’re the face of the operation?
Kroll: If at any point James fully opens his eyes tonight, there will be six more weeks of summer.

Jonah Hill: Bill Hader was brilliant on “SNL” and when he left the show every single person was like, ‘What are you doing? You’re never ever going to work again.’ And what does my man Bill do? Boom, he books a T-Mobile commercial. Who’s laughing now, Lorne Michaels? My man Bill is. If that thing goes national, we could be talking like 10, 15 grand. This guy’s cashing checks from the fourth largest mobile provider in the nation. I respect Bill because Sprint was coming after him hard, but he held out for that f*** you T Mobile money.
Sarah Silverman: Jonah actually gained 50 pounds for his role in the new Martin Scorsese film because the producers wanted the character to be a Jonah Hill type. But seriously you’ve had such a body transformation in the past couple of years. You have come a long way from just being Sonny and Cher’s daughter.
Silverman: Right before the show started, Seth rolled a gigantic fatty. Because that’s the only way we could get Jonah on the stage.
Silverman: I don’t think James is gay or straight. It’s just that he literally can’t open his eyes enough to see who he’s f***ing.

Natasha Legero: Jonah, I loved you as a baseball analyst in “Moneyball” and I love you as Rosie O’Donnell in real life.
Aziz Ansari: So many gay jokes tonight about Franco. Apparently if you’re clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you’re super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, d****s are just going to fly into your face.
Ansari: I’ve been up here longer than I was in “This Is The End.” The funniest part of “This Is The End” to me is that if James Franco actually had that party I don’t think I would have been invited.
Jeff Ross: When Jonah’s agent told him that Quentin Tarantino wanted him to be in a spaghetti western, Jonah was like, ‘You had me at spaghetti.’
James Franco: The joke’s on all of you. This is not a roast. This is my greatest most elaborate art installation ever. I’m not the real guest of honor, these aren’t real comedians and we’re not even on a real network. What you’ve seen tonight was my brilliant opus to sequester an artistic visionary and subject him to the mindless incoherent trashings of a scattering of miscreated, talentless abnormalities. I call it Genius Unscathed and this is my masterpiece.
The roast will air again on Comedy Central Thursday, September 5, at 9:30 p.m. ET.
Posted by:Chris E. Hayner

Chris E. Hayner is equal parts nerd, crazy person and coffee. He watches too much TV, knows more about pro wrestling than you do and remembers every single show from the TGIF lineup. You may have seen him as a pro-shark protester in "Sharknado 3." His eventual memoir will be called "You're Wrong, Here's Why..." TV words to live by: "I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."