jersey shore snooki drunk death charges 'Jersey Shore's' Snooki resembles an upside down 'turnip'? Oh, snap!Jersey Shore” reality TV star Snooki has become a cultural phenomenon whose deep (fake) tan has been referenced by President Barack Obama. Even John McCain tweeted her about using sunscreen, promising that he would not tax her tanning bed.

But now our little pouf-headed party girl has made the big time. She’s the subject of an attempted in depth and introspective 2,000 word profile in the The New York Times Sunday Style section by the Grey Lady’s style scribe Cathy Horyn

But despite the in-person access to the diminutive guidette, Horyn has concluded that there’s just not much there there.

Here are some choice snooty Snooki snippets:

“But trying to hold a conversation with Snooki is a little like getting down on your hands and knees with a child. You have to come down to her level, and sometimes you almost think you need to bribe her with a piece of candy to coax her to be more responsive.”

]]>Her background: Horyn reveals that Snooki is an only child, adopted when 6 months old (she was born in Santiago, Chile). And her parents still do her laundry, her cooking, just as they did when she was a community college student studying to be a veterinary technician.

How she became a star:
She saw a Facebook ad for the MTV show and auditioned. “They were calling out Guidos and Guidettes, and I thought, Hello!” Snooki said on the Miami set. “So I went and I auditioned and here I am.”

What Horyn thinks Snooki looks like:
“She is busty and short-waisted with small legs; sort of like a turnip turned on its tip.” Her deep intellectual level: “She simply isn’t capable of serious introspection. She told me she has read only two books in her life, “Twilight” and “Dear John.” Horyn reports that even her dad can’t figure out her appeal: “She’ll be up there hooting and hollering, and I’ll say to someone, ‘What is it that draws you to my daughter? Be honest.’ Because it’s very hard for me to see what it is. She don’t sing. She don’t dance. I don’t want to say she don’t have talent … .”  Season 2 of “Jersey Shore” premieres Thursday (July 29). Watch and decide for  yourself what all the Snooki fuss is about. And don’t be surprised if you read that Snooki has thrown a drink in Cathy Horyn’s face. Follow Zap2it and Elizadish on Twitter and Zap2it on Facebook for the latest TV, movie and celebrity news. Photo credits: Getty Images

Posted by:Elizabeth Snead