94-year-old Kirk Douglas‘ public appearances and acting gigs have been few and far between since the “Spartacus” star suffered a stroke in 1996, but the actor certainly hasn’t lost his ability to command an audience.

After being greeted by a standing ovation early in the Oscar broadcast, Douglas decided to wax on about his observations of the crowd and his love of beautiful women. Everyone was in hysterics, except maybe the five supporting actress nominees who had to sweat out a few extra minutes while waiting for results.

Just when you thought Douglas was going to announce the winner, he instead decided to point out Hugh Jackman laughing in the audience. “Australians always think they’re funny,” he notes, before acknowledging that Colin Firth wasn’t laughing — because he’s British. This, of course, made Firth laugh.

Douglas finally handed the mic over to Melissa Leo, who seemed more than happy to have him deliver her Oscar. But he still wouldn’t leave the frame of the camera. The bewildered envelope-holder had to escort him to the side of the stage.

If producers don’t mind a 9-hour show, let’s throw out Douglas’ name for hosting duties in 2012.

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Posted by:Mikey O'Connell