“Portlandia” Season 3 does not debut until Friday, Jan. 4, but the crazy show about a crazy town will return briefly in December with a pre-season, winter-holiday episode. And if you ever wondered what to get your Portland-based friends for their Christmas and/or non-denominational solstice celebration, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein may have all the answers you need.

Even if your friends do not need more vagina pillows.

Yes, that’s right — vagina pillows. The unusual home-decoration accessories are important to the video preview released by IFC. Featuring Toni (Brownstein) and Candace (Armisen) of the Women & Women First bookstore, the video also introduces Bobby Moynihan (“Saturday Night Live”) as Candace’s son, Robert.

There is no way to choose individual highlights of “Vagina Pillows” — except for maybe Candace’s gender non-specific grandchild proving his or her identity in a graphic, liquid fashion — so we will have to make do with some quotes:

  • “It’s sort of unsweetened maple syrup.”
  • “Can you just please watch the baby…” “We’re watching it right now.”
  • “My entire bed looks like a woman exploded on it.”
  • “What are you, a detective? A gender detective? Lifting up skirts and pulling down pants and just getting in there with your magnifying glass!”
  • “I accept you have a penis. That doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way.”

“Winter in Portlandia” will air on Friday, Dec. 14 at 10:30pm on IFC.

Posted by:Laurel Brown