It’s been a season of the Talls versus the Smalls on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” with NeNe Leakes, Marlo Hampton and Cynthia Bailey in the Talls corner and Phaedra Parks, Kandi Burruss and Sheree Whitfield on Team Smalls. (Kim Zolciak’s on her own team since she’s getting a Bravo spinoff.) And the Season 4 finale pitted the Talls against the Smalls in two important categories: building an empire and casting models.
Cynthia is looking for a few good models to add to the Bailey Agency, and all of Atlanta shows up to strut their stuff, including Alasia from Season 14 of “America’s Next Top Model,” to whom Cynthia notes that shorts that actually cover her butt might be a good idea. Did Alasia learn nothing from Tyra Banks?
“When you say model search, you’re gonna get everybody,” Cynthia says. “There’s a lot of people here that should not be here.”
Elsewhere, Kandi is planning the launch party for her sex-toy line, Bedroom Kandi, and Team Smalls has possed up to cast some shirtless men it appears she rounded up from Craigslist, Kenya and the backpages of Atlanta’s alternative weekly to be oily and massage women at the party. And chest hair is not an option.
“I don’t want it to look like little taco meat,” Kandi says about one unfortunate hairy-chested guy.
Kandi posts the party invite on Twitter, and Team Talls is not amused when they arrive.
“We’re talking about Kandi, so we’re talking about strippers, dingalings, vajayjays, getting it from the back, getting it from the side,” NeNe says.
NeNe decides it’s time to call it a night with all the “Twitter people” and peaces out early.
The post-show updates: Kim and Kroy got married but haven’t been on a honeymoon yet; Kandi is selling her sex toys and moving from country to rock music; Phaedra is working on a makeup line for morticians and a fitness routine for donkey booties; Chateau Sheree is “on hold” (perhaps permanently if Sheree really did get fired from the show); The Bailey Agency’s classes are fulll; and NeNe and Gregg are divorced but are still friends with benefits.
Next week: The explosive reunion begins — gird your loins!