abc royal baby heir to the throne special 'Royal Baby: Heir to the Throne': ABC's rock 'n roll ridiculousnessThe royal baby was born Monday (July 22) — in case you didn’t hear. The networks were in a race to get their specials on the air. NBC aired its special last night, while ABC and Barbara Walters put their special on the air Tuesday.

Clearly, ABC took extra time with the rock ‘n roll intro for their special, which was backed by screeching guitars and wondered about the royal godparents, “Naughty Uncle Harry? Saucy Aunt Pippa?”

And pointing out that both sets of grandparents were at the hospital — “One side showed up in a taxi. The other in the royal jaguar.”

Finally, the intro teases the royal nanny segment — “Where can they find a Mary Poppins for any monarch, who can wipe the baby with one hand and wipe the floor with any enemy?”

Um, what? Seriously, what? The intro to this special was reminiscent of a Bret Michaels dating show on VH1. Barbara Walters should be embarrassed.

Furthermore, the special didn’t actually tell us anything we didn’t already see a hundred times online — there’s no name, the baby is worth a gazillion dollars, here’s a handy graphic demonstrating that he’s third in line to the throne behind his grandfather and father.

The special padded its time with footage of past royal babies and graphics of Carole Middleton and Queen Elizabeth boxing in the “grandma fight.”

We are not even kidding when we say that Lifetime’s Will & Kate romance movie was less ridiculous than this special.

Did you tune in?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."