suits recap zane vs zane louis litt mugshot rick hoffman 'Suits': The excellence of 'Zane vs. Zane' in the show's own words

“Zane vs. Zane” was yet another excellent episode of “Suits.”

How could it not be? We got to learn all about Rachel’s (Meghan Markle) emotional damage at the hands of her high-flying attorney of a father, Robert Zane (guest star Wendell Pierce). Harvey (Gabriel Macht) and Jessica (Gina Torres) fended off another attack with style. Louis (Rick Hoffman) got into what amounts to a pissing contest with the new associate… And ended up in jail.

It was great.

There are many things I could say about the most recent episode of “Suits,” “Zane vs. Zane.” But the people on “Suits” say those things better. Thus, here are quotes from the episode.

“Are you worrying that they judge you for being a paralegal?” — Robert
“No Dad. Only you judge me for being a paralegal.” — Rachel

“I wouldn’t want you to overeat on the day you told me I wouldn’t amount to anything.” — Rachel

“I oversee the first and second year associates. It’s a responsibility that I take as seriously as holding the nuclear launch codes in my hands.” — Louis

“I will sculpt my nails wherever I d*mn well please.” — Louis

“Robert Zane is your father?” — Mike
“Is it so hard to believe that my father’s black?” — Rachel
“Robert Zane is black?” — Mike

“8 days from now I think I’ve got a spare 45 seconds.” — Donna

“Great! Let’s settle for two. And then I’ll give you the keys to my condo and maybe you’ll drop a deuce on my pillow…” — Harvey

“This better not end up with you in bed with her, telling her your secret.” — Harvey
“Not a problem. We’ll do it on the couch. Wow. That was not respectful to you, me or her.” — Mike
“Or her father.” — Harvey
“Or your couch.” — Mike

“I’m remembered fondly everywhere.” — Donna

“Harvey negotiates like a girl.” — Robert
“No he doesn’t. But he does style his hair like one.” — Jessica

“He try and hit on you? I think he has a thing for you.” — Harvey
“Everybody does.” — Jessica

“It’s a spinach and kale smoothie. I’m in the middle of my quarterly cleanse.” — Louis

“Here it comes, speech number 162: 14 reasons why I’m an a**hole.” — Harvey
“No, no. This is going to be 216.” — Mike

“I don’t think I need to steal your father’s identity just yet.” — Harvey

“You know what? I was going to give in and drop this case. But now that you’ve accosted me during my me-time, I’m gonna change my mind and do what you say!” — Harvey

“Would you like to eat my bagel now too?” — Harvey

“Fine. We’re best friends. Please leave.” — Katrina to Louis

“I’m sorry. You must’ve accidentally, somehow gotten the folder of me photo-shopped as various American Presidents. I actually like that one. I look pretty sharp, don’t I?” — Louis

“I’m not going to let anything go until that woman kneels before Zod.” — Louis
“First of all, you know who Zod is, and second of all, you think you’re Zod?” — Donna
“General Zod was a visionary leader who was underappreciated by his entire planet. Of course I know who he is!” — Louis

“You are not getting my bagel!” — Harvey to Mike

“Easy, Batman. I left my belt on.” — Louis

“So who’s going to kneel before Zod now?” — Katrina to Louis

“You treated me like shit because I’m a woman.” — Katrina
“How dare you, I worship women — my mother, my grandmother — God rest her soul — Hillary Clinton, Gwen Stefani.” — Louis

“Are you going to frame me for murder if I say no?” — Louis to Katrina

“He wants to merge… Pearson Zane.” — Jessica

“I would rather lose my firm than get married staring down the barrel of a shotgun.” — Jessica

“This isn’t chess. It’s dominos.” — Jessica

“I gotta admit you look kinda hot as a bad boy.” — Donna to Louis

“I hate to interrupt an Untouchables quote fest.” — Robert

“A few doors down, they’re doing ‘Steel Magnolias.’ You’d fit right in.” — Harvey
“I’m more of a ‘Beaches’ man myself.” — Robert

Oh. And Daniel Hardman (David Costabile) is coming back. Yeah. “Suits” rocks.

Posted by:Laurel Brown