stealth r us survivor 'Survivor: Redemption Island': Stealth 'R Us takes out two moreSo the tribes merged and Sarita was left out in the cold, then poor Matt was sent packing back to “Redemption Island.” What will happen with one big happy “Murlonio” tribe?

Redemption Island

Matt is kicking himself and gets the “fool me once” quote right, so he’s got one up on President Bush.


David and the Zappers are marveling over Rob’s “mob hit” on Matt, which is a delightful way to put it. They also realize there is no hope for Zap up against the Ometepe alliance. Ralph makes a hilarious and awkward attempt to talk to some of the girls from Ome about his place, saying he would vote for them at the end over Boston Rob, but they are having none of it. Rob is also keeping his alliance of six very, very close and is making sure they are acting like Ome is better than Zap, but he isn’t going to act that way because he wants Zap’s votes at the end. He’s so much smarter than these amateurs.

Natalie totally spills the beans to Rob about Ralph’s conversation, telling Rob Ashley didn’t want to tell him about the conversation. So now the Godfather knows Ashley’s gotta go.

Immunity Challenge

They dig out a club, smash a tile and six move on. They then get water in their mouths, crawl under a trough and spit into a tube. First three to full their bowl move on to a puzzle. Damn, that middle segment is brutal.

In the dig-and-smash portion, Grant, Rob, Ralph, Mike, David and Julie move on. Wow, way to show up, ladies. In the crawl-and-spit portion, Julie is being way too reckless with her water, it’s spilling all over. Rob is being very deliberate, not spilling any. But Grant, Mike and David move on.

In the puzzle portion, it’s very close but Grant pulls it out. That is surprising, I would’ve figured David had the puzzle part in the bag, all things being equal. Look at the Brawny man, being all brainy.


Back at camp, David and Mike start digging around the tribe flag. The Ome people see them and coming running. Literally running. They then start digging up, while David and Mike snicker. They could’ve sold it better that they found one, but they planted some doubt in Ome’s mind, especially Rob’s.

Tribal Council

Phillip’s latest thing is a meditation where his Native American grandfather came to speak with him. Um, like Wayne Campbell’s naked Indian dream? Phillip insists he’s in a new family on “Survivor,” even though Zapatera says he’s on the bottom of his alliance. Julie says Matt also thought Ome was his family. David finally tells Phillip he sounds like a lunatic, which … yes.

The Zappers vote for Phillip, but the Omers tap Mike for elimination and he’s gone 6-5. Back at camp, Rob assures Phillip that he’s not on the bottom. Rob is happy he’s become such a good little soldier.

The next morning, Ralph tries to work on Phillip and Andrea, but they are having none of it. The Zappers are completely disenfranchised because if no one will engage in game play, the game sucks. And the Omers are so entrenched by Rob’s puppetmastery that they won’t even engage with the Zappers.

Reward/Immunity Challenge

The castaways hang from a bar until they drop. After 20 minutes, they can only use their legs. Last person hanging wins. But before they get on their bar, they each take a white and a black rock. Black rock means they want to play, white means they eat cheeseburgers. The only two people who opt to eat are Steve and Phillip. Huh. Really, Steve? Guess he figures he’s not the next Zapper on the chopping block.

Rob is first out, but by the 20-minute mark everybody else is still there. Now they have to drop their arms. Quickly Julie, Grant and Ralph drop. David is hanging by one leg, while the Ome women are all doing backbends and holding their feet. Bendy.

At 45 minutes, everybody is struggling. David drops, then the girls decide Andrea can have it.


There really is no suspense. Who do you think Ome is going to get rid of? Of course it’s David. Meanwhile, Ralph is collecting fish that washed up when the tide went out and Rob is telling his people not to eat it because they were dead and just lying around. But the Zap people chow down. Man, when are they going to revolt against Rob’s tyranny? Probably never because they are stupid sheep.

Grant is the first to go eat fish, but Rob like … calls him back. Wow, this is getting really weird. If Grant and the women know what’s good for them, they’ll vote Rob out. Phillip would never flip, but they could get him out.

The Omers are debating Steve vs. David. Steve is about dunzo with the whole experience and Rob thinks they maybe should mercy-kill him. Hmm. I can’t see them really keeping David around, though. He’s better at challenges, Steve is weak.

Tribal Council

Phillip starts talking about Stealth ‘R Us and how his job in this covert alliance is to plant inceptions. First of all – isn’t talking about this antithetical to your name? Secondly, planting inceptions? I think it’s probably the other way around – inside Phillip’s head is just an endlessly spinning top. He says Rob is the mentalist and Grant is the destroyer of aspirations or the assassin. Then the girls are the “three degrees”? Is that what he said?

Ralph then calls out Phillip’s grandfather, asking if he told Phillip to sit on the bench and eat hamburgers today. *snicker* Steve says his rationale for sitting was that he would’ve lasted a short time, so he chose the food and hopes for the best. Not a terrible strategy. If you aren’t the target or you know you can’t win, take the sustenance.

Julie calls out Rob’s control and he looks at her like if he could, he’s light her on fire with his stare. She calls it a cult and then BURSTS INTO FLAMES. Not really, but if Rob’s wishing made it so, she would have.

The votes go 6-4 for David, sending him to Redemption Island, where next week he’ll face off with Mike and Matt. Interesting.

Next week
: Phillip plays the race card, which … dude. No. You’re just a big weirdo.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."