teen wolf season 3 recap tattoo tyler posey mtv 'Teen Wolf' Season 3 premiere: There's a new Alpha (pack) in town

“Teen Wolf” is back for Season 3, and everything is new. New school year, new tattoos, new werewolves … And of course there are many, many new problems.

Trouble is not ephemeral in the “Teen Wolf” world, after all.

Double your werewolf, double your fun

Season 3 begins unpleasantly for Isaac, what with the electroshock resuscitation and desperate motorcycle chase and all. The scene — while filled with lots of action and motorcycle goodness — is more than a little confusing.

All we know is that Isaac is in trouble, and he’s being helped by a mystery girl on a motorcycle. Behind them are two super-identical and super-creepy (and, because this is “Teen Wolf,” super-hot) twins. Even when Motorcycle Girl crashes through a wall of glass, the Wonder Twins stay close.

Then they somehow merge into one Incredible Hulk-like werewolf. That’s bad**s.

While Isaac and Motorcycle Girl do make it alive to the hospital, they’re in rough shape. Isaac does start to do his werewolf-healing thing, but that only causes more problems — especially since no one can get Derek the World’s Worst Alpha on the phone. Isaac’s only alternate emergency contact? That would be Scott.

A brand-new Scott

Season 3 brings us Scott McCall like we’ve never seen him before. We’re talking about a book-reading, tattoo-getting, one-arm-pull-upping Scott who manages to get through the day without visibly pining for Allison.

Not that much or any of this works out for Scott — he’s still the same guy that way.

The tattoo, for example, simply disappears within minutes, a victim of the werewolf healing process. This is very unfortunate for the squeamish Stiles and his tender head.

The not-pining-over-Allison takes a hit too when young Miss Argent returns from a summer in France and then conveniently pulls up right next to Scott and Stiles on an otherwise empty road. This causes both Scott and Allison to experience angst-filled, romantic music.

Stiles and Lydia are unmoved. At least they are until a deer slams itself into the front of Lydia’s car.

Hitchcock would be proud

School begins anew in this first episode of Season 3. It’s junior year at Beacon Hills High, and the weirdness is ready to invade. The Werewolf Wonder Twins have enrolled, for one thing, which can only mean trouble. There’s also a new teacher, a sweet and pretty lady who insists on perfect attendance and no cell phones. She is probably evil.

Scott may have spent most of his summer reading and studying for the PSAT, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to actually make it through a day without absenteeism. Thanks to Isaac’s werewolf emergency, Mrs. McCall gets Scott out of class and into the hospital.

Just in time too — only minutes after Scott takes off, English class gets weird. How weird? Well, have you ever seen “The Birds”? It’s a lot like that.

Hospital hijinks

The Beacon Hills Hospital is essentially useless as a place of healing in this episode. Fighting, mysteries and disgruntled surgeons, sure. But no healing.

First of all, we have two Mystery Alphas roaming the hallways and causing all sorts of problems. The female Alpha knocks out Isaac and tries to find Motorcycle Girl. The male Alpha, meanwhile, semi-kidnaps Isaac from surgery and then kicks Scott’s butt in an elevator (this is, by the way, one of the coolest fight scenes in recent TV history).

Fortunately, Derek shows up — finally — in time to save both Scott and Isaac from all this medical-center mayhem.

Red doors and awful tattoos

Derek continues in his random usefulness by taking Scott and Isaac to the ever-burnt-out Hale house. Isaac gets some treatment for his lingering Alpha wounds, and Scott gets a new tattoo. Apparently, the best way for a werewolf to acquire some “ink” is with a blowtorch.

Tattoos are so not worth this trouble, guys. Even if they’re symbolic of the unending pain that accompanies a broken heart.

Despite his helpfulness, Derek is still keeping secrets. Scott only finds out when he — much like every dog anyone has ever closed a door on — scratches and scratches at some paint to find a symbol. This would be the symbol of the new pack of Alphas that has come to town.

Back at the Beacon for the totally bizarre and supernatural …

Motorcycle Girl, having fled the hospital, heads straight for the high school in order to find Scott. By this point, however, Scott is at the hospital. So that doesn’t work out.

In fact, nothing much works out for Motorcycle Girl. While she does manage to give Allison and Lydia funky, Alpha-symbol bruises, the girl also attracts the attention of the full Alpha pack. And this time, they brought their leader, Deucalion.

Funky twist, by the way — Deucalion is blind. A burn victim in a coma for Season 1, an old man in Season 2 and now a blind guy — “Teen Wolf” does love its unlikely villains doesn’t it?

Motorcycle Girl meets with what seems to be a rather unpleasant end in the locker room, but at least she shares some important plot exposition before the attack beings: Scott is the reason the Alphas are in Beacon Hills.

It seems that sweet little Scott McCall is more of a threat than we realized. This should make for a very interesting third season!

Fun things they said

“Boy, it’s a good thing you drew me a picture.” — Tattoo artist

“The doctors looked like total idiots when he turned up alive. But everyone got over it.” — Lydia on Jackson’s “death” last season

“Seriously? An American werewolf in London. Like that’s not going to end in disaster.” — Lydia on Jackson’s fate

“It’s Stiles and Scott. Do you really want to apply logic to those two?” — Lydia

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I want a distraction.” — Lydia

“Do you have any other emergency werewolf contacts?” — Mrs. McCall

“Prada bit me.” — Lydia
“Your dog?” — Stiles
“No. My designer handbag.” — Lydia

“Here’s an idea. Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here and get me someone that needs to be operated on? I’m gonna go smoke!” — The Surgeon, obviously channeling the Lacrosse Coach

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” — Derek to Scott

“Is it me, or is Beacon Hills turning into more like Beacon for the totally bizarre and supernatural?” — Lydia

“I know something. I know you’re afraid of him.” — Motorcycle Girl
“Of a teenage boy?” — Deucalion
“Of the man he’ll become.” — Motorcycle Girl

Posted by:Laurel Brown