We don’t generally turn to The CW for our reality television needs, but if you’re looking for a little mindless (really, really mindless) entertainment, “The Catalina” serves to fill the void until “Jersey Shore” comes back on the air.
Nathan is the owner of The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club, a Miami spring break hotspot that’s pretty much any sane person’s worst nightmare. Stephanie is the general manager — and, naturally, Nathan praises her hospitality and her cleavage in equal measure.
Our favorite “character” (because these can’t be real people, they can’t) is Morgan, the general manager of the sushi restaurant at the hotel. She thinks all her employees are “very stupid,” and in turn, the employees have dubbed her The Russian Babykiller. “Which is absurd,” she says, “because I don’t like Russians. I hate Russians and Germans. French are not my favorite either.”
She works closely with Eyal, an Israeli army man turned bartender. “My preference is very very pretty, in any form,” he tells a couple who inquires about his sexuality. “I do men, I do women, I do couples. It depends. If you’re pretty, you’re welcome.”
The major plot point of the episode involved Stephanie and Nathan asking the employees not to drink while on duty at their “Hot Chicks, Cold Drinks” spring break party. You can imagine how well that went over — particularly when Nathan decided to take things to the next level by spraying champagne all over his employees and tossing the more scantily-clad ones into the pool.
What did you think of “The Catalina” premiere? Will you be tuning in for the second episode?