If you’ve been following the 2014 World Cup, you know that the U.S.-Portugal match on Sunday (June 22) ended in a 2-2 tie after Portugal headed in the tying goal with less than a minute left in the game. Late-night host Stephen Colbert had some things to say about that on Monday’s (June 23) episode of “The Colbert Report.”

“I don’t know how to say this, but I care about soccer. [whistle] That’s a foul on futbol for using its hands … to grab my heart,” quips Colbert.

Then after recapping how the match ended, Colbert “chants” the situation still remaining for Team USA in the group stage:

“We’re No. 1! As long as we beat Germany! Also, we could tie them! We’d still get through on points! And we could even lose! But then it comes down to math! If Portugal beats Ghana! By less than five goals! Or Ghana beats Portugal! By only one goal! Then we’d advance! On goal differential! They could even tie! That could still work! USA?”

That sums it up nicely. USA-Germany and Portugal-Ghana both kick off at noon ET/9 a.m. PT Thursday on ESPN and ESPN2.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."