Where were we: Triple H
and Stephanie McMahon
continued to rule “WWE RAW”
with an iron fist. There’s no WWE Champion, but a fight between Daniel Bryan
and Randy Orton
at “WWE Battleground” will hopefully settle that problem. Though, if the last few weeks are any indication, it won’t. Orton is trying to be his old, crazy self and it’s only sort of working.
The other big story is the ongoing battle between CM Punk
and Paul Heyman
, who has added Ryback
as one of his goons. Also, if you notice a lot of wrestlers wearing pink in October, it’s for Breast Cancer Awareness month.
The big news: For the first time in far too long, CM Punk opened the show. All he needs is a microphone to have the audience hooked and he does it once again, ripping into Heyman, Ryback and Curtis Axel. It’s all leading to Punk vs. Ryback at “Battleground.”
Of course, before he can get too far, Big E. Langston returns and attacks Punk for no apparent reason. Brad Maddox sets up a match between the two. The show starts with a Punk promo and match? It’s like wrestling Christmas.
To further the mind games, Punk’s music hit during Axel’s match, distracting him long enough to cost him a win. Then, for some reason Heyman tried to propose to Ryback in the middle of the ring later in the night. It wasn’t asking for his hand in marriage though, but rather to officially dub Ryback a “Paul Heyman guy.” Punk tried to attack from behind but “hurt” his knee.
Who would ever expect a wrestler to fake an injury to get the upper hand on an opponent? It worked and Heyman bat everyone up with a stick. He even paid homage to “Karate Kid” with a crane kick pose. He’s pop culture’s favorite wrestler.
Los Matadores finally made their debut after weeks of terrible promos and their arrival was somehow worse. They have a little person dressed as a bull that they taunt on the way to the ring. His name is El Torito. Seriously. This was just horrible. Whoever gave the okay to this idea for a tag team needs to see a shrink.
They beat 3MB, which JBL called a “great debut.” He’s forgetting that everyone beats 3MB. Points to Michael Cole for saying El Torito looks like a mini Giant Gonzales, though.
The saga of the McMahons vs the Rhodes family continues another week. This time, all three of the Rhodes boys are invited out by Triple H. It still seems foolishly unrealistic because Goldust shows up in his face paint. No one takes a man painted gold and black seriously.
The latest twist has Cody Rhodes and Goldust teaming up. If they can beat The Shield at “Battleground,” they get their jobs back. If they lose, neither of them can work for WWE ever again. Same goes for Dusty Rhodes, who will lose his job with the company. Naturally, the segment wouldn’t be complete without an ambush by The Shield.
This week, instead of Big Show crying, he’s making crazy eyes and claiming he’ll knock out Triple H. The crazy eyes are the most interesting thing he’s done in six months. Sadly, he never got to punch Triple H. Instead, he knocked a hole in the wall. Same thing, right?
For some reason they’ve held off on Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton until the very end of the show. Since it’s the main event at “Battleground,” you’d think there would have been more focus on it for the go-home show, but instead it’s relegated to the overrun slot.
The segment starts with the news that Daniel Bryan and his “E! Total Divas”
girlfriend Brie Bella
are engaged. It takes Bryan riling up the crowd to bring Orton out of his shell. Then he takes verbal aim at Brie, which is more than Bryan can take and the fight is on. This is the kind of intensity these two have needed for a couple weeks.
Orton takes control and DDTs Bryan on the floor right in front of Brie, who tries to save him by yelling. Someone should tell her that yelling at someone really isn’t enough to scare them away from beating up your boyfriend. In fact, it only seems to make Randy angrier, as he then RKOs Daniel through the announce table to end the show. With a beating like that, hopefully Bryan will get some retribution and the WWE Championship on Sunday.
Make sure to check back Sunday, October 6, for out “WWE Battleground” live blog to keep up with all the action.
- CM Punk beat Big E. Langston
- Kofi Kingston beat Fandango
- Los Matadores beat 3MB
- R Truth beat Curtis Axel
- Brie Bella beat Alicia Fox
- Alberto del Rio beat Zack Ryder
- The Shield beat Dolph Ziggler and The Usos
- Santino Marella beat Antonio Cesaro
“WWE Battleground” card:
- Preshow: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
- Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns
- AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella for the Divas Championship
- CM Punk vs. Ryback
- Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam for the World Heavyweight Championship
- Daiel Bryan vs. Randy Orton for the vacant WWE Championship