There’s always that one guy. That one guy who’s sure he’s found a clever way around the rules of basic human interaction, the bare minimum “No shoes, no shirt, no service” societal contract.
At the 2014 American Music Awards
, that guy was Frankie Grande, recent “Big Brother”
houseguest and brother of Ariana Grande. One of the first to arrive on the red carpet — blinking red light you’re desperate for attention — Frankie’s shirt was literally painted on him.
No pair of male nipples have gotten this much attention since the ones on George Clooney’s Batsuit. And, no, that’s not a weird pucker between Grande’s bottom two buttons. It’s his belly button.
But if Frankie Grande thinks that he’s got the fashion statement market cornered, he’s mistaken. A lot of statements were being made on Sunday night and many of them were, “I should have stayed home.” Take a look:
Alongside Frankie is Bleona Qereti. All the pasties, fishnet and a g-string do is emphasize that this would look a thousand times better if all were removed. People, at this point, if you want to be naked, be naked.
Heidi Klum and Gigi Hadid are being grouped together for similiar offenses: Unskilled color-blocking that does nothing to appeal to the eye, cheap sparkles that look like they were an afternoon craft project and blah “this old thing” bandeau and bra tops. Heidi, even a “Project Runway: Threads” contestant could have whipped something better than that.
Dencia, Dencia, Dencia. See that look Nicki Minaj is giving you over on the right? The “I-know-you-know-better-than-that” look? Listen to Miss Minaj, Dencia. Learn from her. She knows what’s she’s talking about. And check out that cute little dress she’s rocking. So flattering. So appropriate. So everything that you currently are not.
On the right guy — say, Ezra Miller — Ansel Elgort’s outfit would look great. The above fail is entirely the wearer’s. Ansel looks as though he thinks he might look ridiculous, which immediately makes the outfit look ridiculous. His personal comfort would completely sell it. He also needs to keep his shirt tucked in so that the lines down the front aren’t going askew.
Zendaya Coleman should have been a little less worried about the “Aaliyah” Lifetime movie being bad for her career, and a little more concerned about this ensemble. At least she’s somewhat prepared if California’s drought suddenly chooses this night to come to an end.