Everyone’s favorite famous person/walking art project is at it again, and this time Shia LaBeouf wants you to be part of the show. The onetime “Holes” star is employing two collaborators (Nastja Sade Ronkko and Luke Turner) and one digit (his right thumb) on #TakeMeAnywhere, an effort that will have him hitchhiking across the country.
If you’re interested in giving Shia and his pals a ride, here’s how it works: Keep an eye on the hashtag, and Shia will periodically tweet out GPS coordinates that reveal where he is. If you’re the first person to show up, Shia will let you take him anywhere you want.
It’s a concept that’s ripe with potential — so if you do have a Shia encounter, make sure you don’t blow it! With the whole Internet watching, here are a few fun ideas you can feel free to steal if you can’t come up with anything better — good luck, and in the words of Shia himself: “DO IT!”
– Take Shia to a sporting goods store, hang out inconspicuously in the corner of the shoes department. Every time someone tries on a pair of Nikes, take turns screaming: “JUST DO IT!”
– Take him to this restaurant, have him demand a 5 percent royalty on all dishes they serve.
– Take Shia to a Gelson’s and have him tell the cashier that he is engaged to be married. Then go to a Whole Foods and have him tell that cashier that he is joining the priesthood; continue along to Ralph’s, Vons, Smart & Final and other supermarket chains, telling each cashier a new story — he’s becoming an astronaut, he just strangled a man to death with his bare hands, etc. Watch the fun ensue as all these “sources” go running to TMZ.
– Bring a bunch of brown grocery bags with the words “I’m Not Famous” written across them. After you and Shia and his friends put the bags over your heads, hit the Taco Bell drive-thru.
– Switch pants. Why? Um, why not?
– Have Shia walk into a 99-cent store and ask the cashier “How much does this cost?” repeatedly, holding up various items.
– Have Shia stand at the counter where the drinks come out, and dare him that to just keep chugging everything that comes out.
– Have him order a Trenta-sized hot water, and a large cup of ice. If they try to charge any money, have Shia remark: “This is the biggest rip-off since ‘Crystal Skull’!”
– When he orders a drink, have him tell the barista he’s Jodie Foster.
– With Shia in the passenger seat, go through the drive-thru backwards, making him order nothing but cake pops.
– Take him to AMC, have him stand in front of the screen and pretend to interact with the characters. When somebody screams at him to stop, have Shia respond: “Didn’t you know I’m in this movie?”
– Make him walk up to the ticket counter and get indignant when his incessant requests of “Two for ‘Disturbia’?” are answered with a puzzled look.
– Look for a person sitting alone in the theater, walk past dozens of empty seats and then sit down on either side of him. Share a large popcorn with Shia, but don’t give any to the strange guy in the middle.