The Ranch at Live Oak Malibu has long been a mecca for celebrities. Billed as a luxury wellness resort, with crystal blue pools, daily massages, surrounded by the lush Santa Monica mountainous range, everything pretty much sounds glorious about joining this wellness retreat held at the Four Seasons Resort.

Except buyers beware: it’s all just a beautiful facade. This place is a prison.

warning Dont be fooled! The Ranch in Malibu is not a spa. Its a celebrity boot camp from hell

Upon further research, this is actually the exact opposite of a vacation. No matter what these A-listers say, we can think of a million better things to do with $4100, the price for the R4.0 5-day, 4-night program, than going to this glorified boot camp from hell.

Rebel Wilson recently bragged about her stay at The Ranch, posting on Instagram, “OMG just finished 4 fantastic days at #TheRanch4.0 …so challenging but very rewarding! Not to mention I lost 8 pounds from marathon hiking over the 4 days! Thanks to the amazing staff and masseuses (free daily massages are part of the program)!! Feeling great!! @theranchmalibu @fswestlake #TheRanch4.0 #theranchatliveoak”

We don’t believe you, Rebel! Losing 8 pounds in four days sounds a lot more like The Biggest Loser Camp than a “warm blend of Southern California elegance” as stated on their website.

Selma Blair was at least more honest in her Instagram post during her stay at The Ranch. “Up at 5:30 am and by 8 we are hiking a misty ridge that transports you to another country. (Not literally. Of course. ) this is about hour two into a four Hour hike. Feeling energetic and exhilarated. I wish I could stay here longer. Didn’t even miss my trusty hiking boots. These @newbalance runners suited this trail just fine. And we kept going up”

Getting up at 5:30 a.m., eating calorie controlled meals, and trekking through a 12 mile hike does not sounds like a relaxing day. What about margaritas by the pool? Or an afternoon latte to wake up after a massage? Nope! There’s no alcohol allowed at The Ranch. No caffeine, either. No gluten, soy, dairy, or processed sugar. Oh, and no fun.

Come on, Lea Michele. Is there really nothing like a 14 mile hike up a mountain?

Celebrities such as Angela Bassett, Jesse Metcalfe, Minka Kelly, Mandy Moore, and Julianne Hough all seem to really enjoy spending a lot of money to eat very little and be forced to work out like an Olympian.

RELATED: Olympian Michael Phelps checks himself into rehab after second DUI arrest

Is there something we’re missing? Upon stalking The Ranch’s Instagram, we got excited upon seeing what looked like a bowl of Trix! A place that serves kid-friendly cereal can’t be all the bad, right?

Foiled! It is merely a bowl of tiny vegetables. Think lunch will be more filling? Think again.

Is that meal really enough to sustain a hike up this gnarly mountain?

Wanting to be healthy is admirable. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating fresh vegetables, being active, and pushing one’s physical limits with a tough workout every now and then. But spending a few grand for what is nothing more than a glorified detox through starvation and excessive strenuous challenges sounds awful. There’s more to life than trying to use weight. Different strokes for different folks, but if it was up to us? We’d go ahead and take a real vacation somewhere else.

Posted by:redskinette86