“Thank you for eating a friend/ chased you down the road then back again.”

Nothing screams “Halloween” quite like the thought of four gray-haired old ladies living in Florida. But your dreams tonight may still be haunted by “The Golden Ghouls,” a seasonal spoof from YouTube’s CREATURE team that is as funny as one of Rose’s St. Olaf stories.

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Rather than Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia of “The Golden Girls” fame, we get Frankenstein’s Mother (which feels like the role Bea Arthur was meant to play), Dracula, The Mummy and The Wolf Man. Only, none of these four funny retirees are actually men — and rather than living in Miami, they reside in a spooky old castle.

“I haven’t seen bandages that tight since Kris Jenner’s last face-lift,” says the Wolf, looking over Blanche Mummy and delivering her lines in an impressive take on Estelle Getty’s staccato, biting one-liners.

“With a body like mine,” sashays Mummy. “It’s a curse!”

Although Frankenstein’s Mother grunts rather than speaks, she still does an impressive job getting at the spirit of Bea Arthur’s grumpy, dismissive Dorothy. And yeah, you definitely don’t want to mention the word “fire” around her.

If you ever wondered what “The Munsters” and “Golden Girls” would look like if someone put them both in a blender and hit “puree,” look no further. Now, if only someone would cross “The Addams Family” with “Empty Nest.”

Posted by:Larry Carroll

Writer, Geek, Bon Vivant.