Since Mondays are just the worst, we here at Zap2it
have decided to give your week a much-needed wake-up call with 10 TV
teasers — just to remind you that when the work day is over, your DVR
waits to welcome you home.
For this week’s Monday Kickstart,
we’ve got some “American Horror Story” scoop to ponder, a “Bones” case hint, something missing from the “Scandal” premiere, and more.
“American Horror Story”: If you’ve kept up with “American Horror Story” buzz, you already know that this season takes place in an institution for the criminally insane in 1964. What you may not know is that in the sixth episode, we’ll flash forward to 2012. We’ll leave the theorizing to you…
“Anger Management”: In episode 12, titled “Charlie is an Expert Witness,” we’ll meet Sherry, a Public Defender who hires expert witnesses to testify at trials.
Charlie is hoping to get the gig, but hijinks ensue — because 20 years ago, when Charlie played ball, he slept with Sherry and never called her again. If that isn’t complicated enough, wait until you find out which person involved in the court case Charlie’s sleeping with now.
“The New Normal”: In this week’s episode, David’s concerns about their future child’s health put a damper on Bryan’s excitement about their impending bundle of joy — and, more specifically, his shopping for their impending bundle of joy. David’s neurosis and worry may run in the family — in an upcoming episode, the boys make a joyful baby announcement to David’s mother at a swanky L.A. restaurant. Let’s just say she doesn’t react as ecstatically as you might thing an expectant grandmother would.
“How I Met Your Mother”: Episode 6 of Season 8 is titled “Splitsville” — and it involves banana splits and breakups. Apparently, there’s a certain ice cream shop that doubles as a notorious breakup spot, and both Ted and Robin will pay a visit there in the episode. But which one’s relationship is doomed? And who is doing the dumping?
“Arrested Development”: Add another name to the lengthy list of former cast members returning to reprise their roles in Season 4. Jeff Garlin will be back as Maeby’s film honcho boss, Mort Meyers. You know — the one who thought she was far older than she actually is. (“Marry me!”)
“Bones”: An upcoming episode will pit our team of Jeffersonian squints against a crime scene cleanup crew, in a stand-off that evolves into a major turf war. “It’s people whose entire lives are dedicated to eradicating evidence going up against our people, who uncover evidence,” EP Stephen Nathan tells us.
“Go On”: In an upcoming episode, Ryan will visit his local dry cleaner — and decide that as a popular radio sports jock, his photo should be on the wall alongside the cleaner’s other famous customers. Things get awkward when the skeptical clerk doesn’t have a clue who Ryan is.
“Criminal Minds”: Have any of your friends ever taken their video game obsessions a little too far? In an upcoming episode, the gang investigates two twenty-something brothers who are completely addicted to gaming — to the point where reality and fantasy blur, and the guys kidnap a group of high school students to play out their video game fantasies in real time.
“Scandal”: Shonda Rhimes and Co. don’t waste much time in resolving the “Who is Quinn Perkins?” cliffhanger from last season’s finale in the season premiere — although there’s much, much more to the story, as you’ll find out. One of the things that struck us about the premiere, though, was something that didn’t happen. To Cyrus, specifically. Just saying.
“Raising Hope”: The season premiere introduces us and the Chance family to Melanie Griffith as Sabrina’s mom — which, OK, we already knew. What you’ll discover, though, is that back in his goth/Drakar Noir phase, Jimmy encountered Mrs. Collins once before … and got rather, um, friendly with her. Needless to say, this does not go over especially well, but flashbacks to goth Jimmy are never not funny.