It’s here. The big moment has arrived. It is Election Day.
And if you’re anything like us, you’re going to be watching the seemingly-unending coverage with a bottle of your favorite micro brew or favorite glass of vino. So to spice things up a bit, Screener has devised a drinking game to help you out.
The game is geared toward flipping around between the various broadcast and cable networks — ABC, CNN, C-SPAN, FOX, Fox News, MSNBC, NBC and PBS are all featuring election coverage, beginning at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT for broadcast networks. The cable news channels are beginning their coverage mid-afternoon because of course they are.
If you’re really feeling daring, C-SPAN’s coverage is going to be a little outside the box. In primetime, they’re airing various victory and concession speeches from around the country, as opposed to the other networks that will undoubtedly be heavy on the presidential election.
Check out ABC’s handy guide for a detailed summary of each network’s coverage plans and crack open a cold one — but as always, please drink responsibly.
Take a sip:
- When the candidate you don’t like wins a state.
- Every time CNN whips out the Magic Map wall.
- When CNN’s John King is referred to as the “map guy” or “wall magician.”
- If a pundit uses a sports metaphor. Take an extra sip for “ground game,” two extra sips if it’s “horse race.”
- If anyone in your house sees any of the out-of-retirement crew — Tom Brokaw (NBC), Charles Gibson (ABC) and Bob Schieffer (CBS) — and says, “Who’s that?”
- Every time Wolf Blitzer says some variation of “we’re watching this closely.” But make sure they are tiny, tiny sips.
- If your liver is up to it, make C-SPAN your only channel and take a sip every time you see a victory or concession speech from someone you don’t recognize.
Take a hearty swig:
- A network prematurely calls a race for one candidate and then has to change their results.
- A Times Square bystander says something insane to on-the-scene ABC reporter Michael Strahan.
- Each time you can tell Brian Williams resents covering the election for MSNBC instead of the mothership.
- If Fox News’ Megyn Kelly has to interact on screen with Newt Gingrich.
Finish your drink:
- If one of the cable news channels — we’re looking at you, CNN — uses a hologram.
- If Donald Trump loses and refuses to concede.
- If Hillary Clinton wins and does a dance so awkward it’s worthy of Elaine Benes.
- If NBC’s Tom Brokaw manages to work in his catch phrase, because God help us all if this thing isn’t resolved in one night.