Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is a single lady no more! After a whirlwind engagement, Criss Chross (James Marsden) put a ring on it (a knuckle ring spelling out “Tito,” to be precise) in a fairy-tale wedding that could only happen on “30 Rock.”
To think, it all started with Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters), Liz’s obnoxious ex. After another failed attempt at getting pregnant, Liz and Criss were consoling themselves with disco fries when they ran into the former Beeper King — and his adopted son, “Black Dennis.”
Yep, although Liz has been on an adoption waiting list for years, her moronic ex had no trouble adopting an African-American boy — just because he’s married.
“We might as well get married like every other idiot,” Liz and Criss decide. And blammo! They’re engaged, “Top Gun-style.”
While Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) offers up Tony Bennett to sing at their wedding, Liz protests (too much?) that their City Hall nuptials are just a formality.
“I reject the wedding industry’s phallocentric fairy-tale grotesquery!” she declares, citing Bravo’s “Wedding B****es” as an example.
But Jack knows that in Liz Lemon’s fervent feminist heart, she really does want to be a princess for a day. And her groom knows it too: Pretending to forget his birth certificate, Criss rounds up the Duffys to serve as their witnesses — not many other people are available on a Wednesday afternoon — and Liz finally melts.
In short order, Criss has a suit and the requisite bling. Really, why buy traditional wedding bands when he could pick up a grill and the aforementioned knuckle ring at a City Hall police auction? Liz ransacks her closet and finds the perfect white gown. Since it happens to be a Princess Leia costume, she styles her hair accordingly.
After Jack does a reading (from “The Fountainhead”) and Tony Bennett serenades the couple, Liz Lemon and her “Marzipan Candy Man” are pronounced husband and wife.
To quote Dennis: “Mazel tov, dummies!”