Now, we’ve all seen and laughed at “Toddlers & Tiaras,” but there’s something wholly unsettling about seeing these poor girls without the tantrums and whimsical edits to temper our sympathy.
“GMA” correspondent Lara Spencer had the not-so-easy task of interviewing Kerry without foaming at the mouth or even once going in for a “Moonlight”-esque face slap. And though she managed to scratch the surface of what’s happening in the Campbell household, we have some lingering questions…
Seriously. Where do you get the Botox?
Spencer pushed you to name where you procure the vials of botulism, but you declined to answer, referring only to a “trusted source.” Some might argue that you’re just honoring anonymity, when clearly, it’s because somewhere between procurement and administration, you have to be doing something illegal.
What does her father say?
Not to get all medieval and assume there’s a conventional nuclear family behind Britney, but there’s got to be someone else in the picture… a dad, a second mom, grandparents, a sassy but goodhearted diner waitress who babysits when you go out on your drug runs? Everyone has a voice of reason in their life, however quiet, and you are ignoring yours.
If the other pageant moms gave their daughters liposuction or reconstructive surgery, would you do that too?
You tell Spencer that you’re neither the only nor the first pageant mom to administer Botox, and you dismissed her rather extreme question of what would happen if lobotomies become the hot trend. This is silly because lobotomies are old-fashioned and pageant judges dock points for drooling, but what of more invasive cosmetic procedures? Botox is a gateway for vain old broads, so who’s to say you won’t push your daughter to do more as well?
How are you allowed to have a child?
What part of exposing yourself as a child abuser on daytime television seemed like a good idea? Social services and umpteen non-profits have already flagged you and are likely looking for ways to rescue your daughter.
Where are you going to live now that the whole world hates you?
It’s safe to say that everyone in metropolitan San Francisco who caught the segment is now toting a bag of rotten vegetables and/or brass knuckles everywhere they go, on the off-chance they might see you in a Target parking lot.