What “90210” really needs is more girl fights. And blackmail. Because while standing up for yourself and owning your mistakes can be beautiful, a good girl fight really keeps things interesting.
Naomi and Liam (and Ivy): Naomi’s panic about everything being perfect with Liam persists, and she’s on her best — and most boring — behavior, which continues to kill their chemistry. In desperation and out of jealousy of Liam’s ease with Ivy, she asks Ivy for her help — the three of them could hang out. Sensing an opportunity, Ivy suggests they go for a hike, which indoor girl Naomi gamely tries to take on before she figures out what Ivy’s up to. She gets Ivy to admit that she has feelings for Liam, and proceeds to try to beat her at her own game.
Which involves going to watch surf team practice in a very small yellow bikini. Words are said, buttons are pushed, and girl fight ensues — and the wardrobe person deserves a raise for well-placed double-sided tape, because Naomi’s bathing suit never moves. It’s basically a draw, and Naomi ‘fesses up to Liam that she’s been trying to be polite and good and it’s killing their relationship because she’s not being herself. Way to man up, Naomi; good girl. And of course, since Liam fell for the feisty girl that Naomi is, things heat right back up.
Poor Ivy ends up with her mom (Kelly Lynch) on the beach in front of a fire, pouring out her troubles. Before this, however, we see her mom pick up Mr. Matthews in the bar where he’s drowning his sorrows over the evil Jen, and we learn that she’s been with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Steven Tyler. If that just doesn’t scream “suitable partner,” I don’t know what does. But you know, whatever helps you get through it.
Annie and Jasper: The Annie-Jasper creepy festival continues, with her literally recoiling every time he touches her. And just as I’m braced and yelling “Ew, Annie, don’t do it!” as he tries to talk her into sleeping with him, Annie finds a backbone and essentially calls Jasper’s bluff. Even if it means that you turn me into the police, she says, I’m not going through with this. And if you go to the police, the one-in-a-million chance of us getting back together is gone. Finally. You can take consequences, girl, but you can’t buy back your soul. And he’s not even that convincing a psycho.
Until he leaves an envelope on Annie’s windshield containing photos of her wrecked car. But to her credit, she keeps on manning up and says she’s going to turn herself in. He turns up at her window later on as she’s struggling to find the words to tell her parents about the accident in a letter (I was confused about who really hit Jasper’s uncle, so thanks everyone for clarifying) and promises not to tell the cops because he wants to preserve that minute chance. Annie sighs with relief and gets rid of the document, but unbeknownst to her, the letter was autosaved as they talked. Foiled again by Windows! As if the Vista problem weren’t bad enough. And now Jasper’s stalking her anew.
Dixon, Silver, and Teddy: Dixon and Silver finally talk, and she tells him she wants to stay friends. Dixon’s crushed, particularly since he had a dream that they’d get back together, but he takes it pretty well. Later, the two are having lunch at the beach club when she sees Teddy with his sister. Silver thinks she’s just some girl until she comes over and tells Silver what a mistake she’s making by dumping her brother. Silver quite rightly gets mad at Dixon, who then does a little manning up of his own, goes to Teddy and tells him about his sneaky double cross. He even invites Teddy to slug him, and Teddy obliges with a nice punch to the gut. But it’s Beverly Hills, so everything’s OK again.
Teddy (who while cute is clearly filling the Ian Ziering “I’m playing 18 but in real life I’m 32” role) finds Silver, who rebuffs him anyway because he’s stuck to his playa ways and forgotten about her. Then she changes her mind, admits she’s scared, and goes for it with Teddy anyway. Nice.
Dixon, meanwhile, is having a bit of a rough time, feeling rejected both by Silver and by his birth mom, who hasn’t been in touch. Until the end, when she arrives on the doorstep as Dixon, Debbie, and Harry are enjoying a wholesome family night of “Jeopardy” viewing — and Harry’s cheating. Next week: Debbie’s protective hackles rise!
Adrianna and Gia: The new besties are getting ready to have a pity party when Alexa, Gia’s ex, arrives and wants to talk to her. Alexa wants to get back together, but Gia’s now into Adrianna. And so goes to her house to watch “Love Story” rather than make her ex her current girlfriend again. Apparently love means never having to apologize for wanting to watch a crappy movie.
What did you think? Is Annie going to end up confessing anyway? When will Gia get brave and confess her feelings for Adrianna? Is Ivy going to fight for Liam?