For every person on “90210” who stands up and does the right thing, it seems there are at least two who do something genuinely stupid.
The good: This week, it was Naomi’s turn to stand on the side of the righteous — and she did it in a blaze orange vest while picking up trash, no less. As a penance for spreading her bogus — and vicious — story about Mr. Cannon, she’s on cleanup duty, which also includes cleaning up graffiti — including the word “molester,” spraypainted across Mr. Cannon’s parking space. Graffiti, in a high-rent district like Beverly Hills, you ask? Why yes — read on.
But first, back to Naomi. She’s being shunned by friend and non-friend alike, but she’s sucking it up. Then she and Annie overhear a girl in the cafeteria say she wouldn’t take Mr. Cannon’s class because he’s a pervert. So Naomi gets up on a chair and announces to the whole place that in fact she’s the pervert — the one who perverted justice, and morality, and the truth — and she’s the one everyone should be mad at. Nice move, Naomi. And when she runs into Mr. Cannon in the hallway, he pretty much forgives her based on that very public mea culpa. Her friends forgive her, and Liam comes back too — see, Naomi, karma can be a good thing. That is, until just before the SATs, when evil scheming sister Jen turns up again, having gotten her husband, with whom she’s reconciled, to buy the beach club. Looking forward to seeing how Jen’s return affects Mr. “that’s not a hookah I’m smoking, and I am happy to see you” Matthews. Naomi spends the start of her SATs staring dejectedly into space after Jen promises to make her life a living hell. So karma’s a double-edged sword. No good deed goes unpunished. Insert cliche here.
The stupid: Oh, Dixon — you moron. Dixon’s started playing poker in a secret game with Navid and Lila and a bunch of others, and I’m absolutely dejected that I can’t figure out a way go shoehorn a “dogs at the poker table” joke here. Anyway, this jerk Mark from the baseball team turns up, tossing a big wad of Benjamins on the card table and essentially challenging Dixon to a contest of who can be a bigger weenie. Dixon, predictably, gets in way over his head, and ends up losing more than $6,000.
Mark gives Dixon a way out of paying, though, by helping him and his doink buddies break into the school by stealing the key — in one fell swoop combining Brandon Walsh’s gambling habit with Steve Sanders’ idiotic legacy key debacle. Nice. It turns out that Mark and his buddies want to steal the SAT test from school — and if they’re dumb enough to think the test is just laying around then they should do a little more studying. Dixon extricates himself from their ridiculous plan but leaves the masked bunch of them in the school — which they proceed to trash and cover with graffiti. Harry has surveillance tape of the vandals and Dixon, but covers for them because he doesn’t want Dixon to ruin his chances for college. But he revokes everything fun in Dixon’s life — as well he should — to punish him. And everything would be OK if Dixon didn’t dumbly let it slip to Mark that his dad has the surveillance video and didn’t go to the school superintendent. And now we’ve opened the door to ongoing blackmail. Terrific.
The miserable: Debbie finally confesses to Harry that her yoga instructor, Kai (of course), kissed her a couple of months ago, and she only stopped him because it was the right thing to do, not because she wanted to. Harry’s been distant and preoccupied and hasn’t noticed anything about her for a long time, she says. Plus, he flirts with Kelly at work. Debbie’s remorseful and wants to go to counseling. Harry starts off angry and in denial but ends up agreeing to counseling too.
Annie overhears their conversation when she and Liam come home to work on a school project. He gets her out of the house, they go for a walk in the park, and out of a need to do something drastic to alleviate her sense of frustration, she jumps into a fountain. Saw that coming, didn’t you? They have a moment of meaningful looks, but then Annie tells Liam he should be with Naomi. Good move, Annie. Lay off the drama for a bit. But of course she can’t, because later on she calls Liam just to talk. If they were capable of being just friends, there’d be no problem. But you can see where this is going.
The woebegone and the criminal: Liam and his dad (Scott Patterson) are spending some quality time together working on the boat. And then dad starts dropping hints about starting a tackle shop by the marina and finding a place for him and Liam to live, provided he can get a little seed money. Then Liam has a run-in with his phenomenal jerk of a stepfather (John Schneider), who tells Liam he plans to turn the carriage house where he works on his boat into a gym. So, predictably, Liam ends up stealing three coins from Jerkface’s collection to try to give his father the seed money he needs. Though I’m not sure how far $10,000 will go toward starting a tackle shop at the marina.
Trouble ahead: Silver and Teddy aren’t getting along, because she overreacts — first to him saying that he doesn’t plan to go to college right away, because he wants to play pro tennis, and then to Teddy not telling his father (Ryan O’Neal, in an oddly perfect bit of casting) that he has a girlfriend. Here comes trouble.
What did you think? How much torture is Naomi in for at the hands of the evil Jen? Will Dixon wise up? How long before Annie makes a full-on play for Liam? How long will it be before Liam ends up arrested?