long-time readers of the blog know, I enjoying combining "Lost" with my

other passion: music. Hopefully a few of you remember “South by South Pacific,”

a four-part musical written by my wife and myself a few months back.

And while Act 5 of said opus is still in the works, we have another

similar endeavor dropping today.

As some of you may know, the show’s holding a contest to write a mock theme song

for the show. The winner gets their song played at Comic Con this year.

Pretty sweet, eh? Sadly, I can’t actually write music so much as

rewrite lyrics to existing songs, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.

And while that means none of the below are actually legally qualified

to be entered into the contest, the fact that I can’t actually sing or

play an instrument basically means even original compositions wouldn’t

live past the written word

But feel free to sing along to the following in any case. I’ve provided

links to each original song in case you’re forgotten the melody. We’ve

got epic 70’s rock, eccentric 80’s pop, and one of this century’s

seminal pop songs. I apologize to the grunge era for their omission

this time around, though we did drop some Pearl Jame during “South.” So

put on your flannel shirts and stop complaining.

Entry #1: to the tune of Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”

Well, I remember that Incident

As if it happened only yesterday

Parked the Dharma van

And carefully went to the Swan build site

And I never felt before

Surer about any decision

Let’s detonate this bomb

And a time paradox incite

And now the tunnel’s shaking left and right

Radzinsky’s work made the place ignite

And we’re running and we’re gunning all surrounded by strife

Running and we’re gunning all surrounded by strife

Juliet! Hold tight!

Juliet! Outta sight!

Though she’s bruised and bloody in her deep dark plight

She can see paradise in that blinding light…

Entry #2: to the tune of Thomas Dolby’s “She Blinded Me with Science”

While flying cross the ocean

The plane just broke apart in three

And after the commotion

The two men just would not agree

Mmm-the men of faith and science!

“They stood there in defiance!”

And would not give apology

Locke’s discussing destiny

“On fate we should have reliance!”

Jack dismisses miracles

“The group requires our alliance!”

But then Locke became Bentham

And bearded Jack got drunk and cried

Now flying on Ajira

Jack starts to see the other side

Mmm — to combine faith with science!

And build some new mythology

Entry #3: to the tune of OutKast’s “Hey Ya!”

These hippies come mess around

They’re landing on my shores

Oh Jacob, what’s in store?

They’re coming from Ann Arbor

I can’t stand to see these hatches


Don’t try to fight the Hostiles

Your stupid sonic fence cannot maintain the truce

Thank God for Richard Alpert

And my main man Smokey

Think I’ll let him loose…UH!


OK now fellas?


What’s cooler than being cool?

(Frozen donkey wheel!)

I can’t hear ya!

(Frozen donkey wheel!)

Alright, alright, alright, alright…

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Posted by:Ryan McGee