The good news is, no will.i.am. The bad news is the double-shot of gross that is the ghoulish corpse of Iggy Pop — and the even ghoulisher, demonic visage of Constantine Maroulis — will be happening. Kind of a wash, really, except who thought, You know, Paul McDonald isn’t scary and gross enough each week, let’s reach into the bottom of the garbage disposal and find some unidentifiable stuff with our bare fingers?
Plan of attack: I feel a mild pleasantness toward all these kids, besides Lusk and McDonald. Like you might feel if you saw a rerun of Suddenly Susan was showing on, like, TBS right now. You might not choose to watch it, but it’s not like you would throw your bowl of soup at the wall. They’re not serial killers. It’s not like you’re watching Two & A Half Men or an interview with Patricia Heaton or something that would actually make you feel bad about life.
J. Lo is wearing a red satin shirt and trousers and a knob on her head not unlike what Pia wore at some point, possibly last night but definitely in real life. Constantine is here, so that’ll cut a good five minutes, and we’ll be working very quickly through Iggy Pop , so this shouldn’t take too long.