heads to Las Vegas to narrow down to the Top 40. Did your favorites make the cut?
We kick things off with the judges making an early cut. At the airport. They've put through 160 acts and have to cut down to 40, so as soon as the plane lands they split the acts into 4 groups and cut one of the groups right off the bat. I hope these people didn't pay their own ways to Vegas because that's pretty mean.
Group A, which has the cancer-story singing lady and the yodeling dominatrix and those freaky little girls in the Munchkinland outfits, is safe. Group B, which has the Little Orphan Annie dance troupe and Kari Callin, is going home. Wow, they cut Susan Boyle? One little Orphan Annie girl cries and I snicker. Because I am EVIL. Whoa, Tallan Noble Latz was cut! What?!?! I am very surprised. Groups C and D, which have everybody else, are both safe. Duh. We've all watched TV before.
Ridiculously long montage of judges' deliberating. Bloop bloop bloop.
Keith Johnson and Peter Peterkin are up first. Keith is a country singer and Peter is an Obama impersonator. Neither one is that good, so I am a little surprised that Pete makes it. Keith doesn't and comments that he's been doing this a long time and this is as close as he's gotten. That prompts me to say, "Well, maybe you aren't that good then." I played softball for a long time and I only got as far as JV, so I decided my talents must lie elsewhere.
Billy Elliot is up next. What was his name? Arcadian Broad, like a Dickens character. He has to go through, he's really good. And then he gets through. Yay.
Top 40 Montage. Acrodunk and the Platt Brothers, then the Stomp-like group, then the David Hasselhoff song guy, then Thia Megia, then the Barbie Rockers, then the little kid ballroom dancers, then the men's acapella group, then the singing country Tenors, then the yodeling dominatrix, then the Irish dancing sisters all make it through.
I am SO ANNOYED that they don't put the names on the screen. How hard is it? Is your graphics department on strike? I don't remember all these names and I've got too many shows to recap tonight to look them all up. For Pete's sake!
Retired barber Tony the Elvis guy, who should not go through, is the next spotlighted act and he surprisingly goes home. I say surprisingly because like this guy is any worse than the yodeling dominatrix.
Three hip-hop dance groups who are all get-out-of-our-life-through-dance are up next: Destined2B, Euphoria and BreakSk8. Piers tells them they could not decide who to send home, so it's a dance-off. They all get the same track, 12 hours to prepare and then they DANCE! I think all three should go through and Peter Peterkin, the yodeling dominatrix and the country Tenors can be sent home.
Magician Time. Drew Thomas and Joseph Constantine are left. I thought Drew was miles better than Joseph. The Constantines talk about losing their business and their house and that's sad and all, but they aren't very good magicians. As "Hero" kicks up and I gag back some vomit, they send Joseph home. Seriously, enough with the Mariah Carey.
Spiritual Harmonizers are next. I think they're probably safe, so I am very surprised when the Hoff tells them no. Wow, really? Also going home are two dance groups whose names I forget, a belly dancer, a martial-arts dance group, and this year's stripping moms.
Haido Torres is the next act they speak with. He was okay, but I don't know that he should go through. Of course, the judges put through people I can't believe get through and cut people I think are very talented, so what the hell do I know? They put him through, of course.
The big showdown of the night is between Kevin Skinner and Lawrence Beaman. Oh man, I think they should both go through. Beaman gets through first and then so is Skinner. Yeah, I figured. They are both far too popular not to put through.
We don't get to see the Dance Off tonight, that will have to wait until tomorrow! How will I sleep tonight?!?!
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UPDATE: Full list of Top 40 acts here