landon swank agt 'America's Got Talent': Landon Swank, West Springfield Dance shine on Wild Card nightDue to a power outage, I did not have access to “America’s Got Talent” last night, so my apologies on the lateness of this. Also, I’m doing it based on the online videos, so I don’t have the judges’ comments on my versions. I also don’t have the right order, though I’m pretty sure the Kinetic King went first because of set-up.

1. The Kinetic King

I hope this goes better than last time, even if I don’t think he should advance. Nobody wants to watch him be sad and embarrassed. This week, he has many pop cans set up along with his tongue depressors and it gets going, but it’s reeeeeeally slow. It’s not as cool as his exploding tongue depressors. OK, so that was kinda boring and he should not advance, but I’m glad he got his redemption for last time.

2. Seth Grabel

Seth talks to the audience as he is lowered to the stage in his giant
hoop, which I find kind of melodramatic. He then spins around for
awhile, then makes a Delorean appear that has three little mini judges
inside. The kids are cute, though little Sharon Osbourne looks like one
of those Living Dead Dolls, very creepy (but her “hello, darling” was
adorable). Honestly, though, I didn’t love it. The car appearing was
cool, but the mini judges thing I find cheesy.  We’ll see how he ends up
having shaken out once we’ve seen the whole night.

3. Shevonne

This girl is new to me, I don’t really remember her from Vegas. This
week, she sings Jessie J’s “Nobody’s Perfect.” It’s OK – there are more
than a couple bum notes in there, though. Am I imagining that? Did
anybody else hear that too? I’m not convinced she should advance. I
think I would’ve preferred to see Dani Shay again.

4. J. Chris Newberg

J. Chris’s act tonight is a roast of Piers Morgan. His jokes are OK. There are a couple good ones – I like the kids crying joke and the “Piers Morgan Tonight” shows, but honestly it’s kind of a cop-out. Taking a few cracks as Piers is not as hard as writing original jokes, since a lot of the stuff he said is stuff “AGT” makes fun of Piers for anyway. Not sure he should advance, I’ll have to see the rest of the acts.

5. The Fiddleheads

I really wanted these guys to do well and “Billie Jean” was terrible, so I hope they do better this week. Their call this time is “Grenade” by Bruno Mars – except, it sounds pretty much just like the original. It’s not bluegrass-y enough, plus the lead singer is out of his depth. The chorus gets better with the banjo, makes it more original, but the singer can’t handle this vocal, he’s all over the place. Piers buzzes and while I wouldn’t buzz, I’m not sold. Bummer.

6. These Funny Little People

I’m sorry, this is so stupid. Tonight they bop around to “Constantinople” and Piers buzzes them. I’m with Piers. Next!

7.  Yellow Design Stunt Team

Their theme is pirates tonight – but honestly, it’s like their routines are all the same with different themes. They have their ramps and their bikes with different costumes. And as I’ve said before, their BMX tricks are not that advanced. There are a couple good ones, but it’s not that impressive. I’m over these guys.

8. Avery and the Calico Hearts

I truly like these little girls and I think they do have talent, but they are too young. The lead singer needs to hit puberty and they will really have something. But anyway, this week they do Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite” and while I applaud the more current choice, it doesn’t sound right on Avery’s voice. Adorable, but not that strong. I hope to see them having pop hits in about three years. Piers buzzes them, which is unnecessary.

9. Summerwind Skippers

Their routine this week is more rock ‘n roll and still full of their
tricks. I’m not sure they are right for this show, but they are very
talented and one of the strongest I’ve seen tonight. Ooh, then there’s
fire! That’s neat. 

10. Charles Peachock

The theme tonight starts off old-timey circus, but then Charles bursts in with his chainsaw, lights it on fire, lights two balls on fire and then juggles them. He then balances swords on his face while juggling other swords, but drops one. Hmm. I really wanted to like you, Charles, but that was kinda boring. I preferred the piano routine.

11. Landon Swank

The trick this week is very Houdini. Landon tells us the average person can hold their breath under water for less than 30 seconds. He gets handcuffed and gets his throat padlocked to the water tank floor, then has 60 seconds to get out using only two picks. I will say – I’d rather watch an illusion than a Houdini trick. I always find it kind of boring to watch someone struggling around in a straitjacket or in a water tank for a minute. However, after we see him get his hands free and start to work on his padlock, a curtain comes up around the tank. The clock runs out, the curtain lowers and Landon is hanging from a hook above the tank and a woman who got lowered on a hook is inside the tank. That was alright. Better than the average Houdini trick.

12. West Springfield Dance Team

Their routine tonight is very urban, with all of them dressed like the
Joker from Batman with a mashup of the Joker’s quips and Marilyn
Manson’s “Beautiful People” and “Dosn with the Sickness.” It’s good,
it’s really interesting and creepy. Maybe not a step up from last time,
but they also haven’t had much time to prepare, so…

Who should advance? Gosh, this was kind of a weak night. I think Landon, West Springfield and Summerwind Skippers for sure. For the last spot? Shevonne or Seth, I think.

What say you, “AGT” fans?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."