Piersmorgan_americasgottalent_290 Tonight on “America’s Got Talent,” we have the strongest week by a mile. I’m actually upset that more of these acts can’t advance.

Our acts tonight are the Footworkingz, G-Force, Lawrence Beaman, Hairo Torres, Mario & Jenny, Bri, Dave Johnson, Pixie Mystere, Jeffrey Ou, Marcuss Terrell & the Serenades, and the Wild Cards Jay Mattioli and U4RIA dance crew. This isn’t a weak group. Certainly not as weak as last week and perhaps the strongest group yet.

When Nick greets the judges, David says tonight he is looking for something “Hoff-alicious” and I make an “ew” face because… ew, but then he says, “something Hoff-the-charts” and I actually laugh. Damn you, dirty old man Hoff. Makin’ me laugh.

1. The Footworkingz

It’s another rags-to-riches dance group. Not that I don’t like these kinds of acts, but it seems like there are a lot of them. Wait a second… did Nick Cannon just say “Illinois” and pronounce the ess at the end? Sigh. Anyway, tonight Footworkingz has some nifty black-light shoes and clothing. It really emphasizes their movements, which are awesome. They are very synchronized and do an excellent kick-line type segment. They also have a guy who got hurt who is still dancing, so that’s pretty bad-ass.

Overall, it’s the first dance crew I’ve REALLY thought should advance without having to say they should advance because the competition was so weak. They have a snafu at the end, but other than that it was a very good show. Piers is torn about whether they are ONE OF the best dance acts they’ve ever had or THE best dance act. Wow, high praise. He says they were SO much better than he remembered and I have to agree, Sharon says brilliant and calls them the Kingz. The Hoff says, “Hoff-the-charts!” Man, he should’ve come with more Hoff puns or saved that one for now.

2. Marcus Terrell & the Serenades
Wait a minute, why are the Serenades back? Ohhh, he got new backup singers. Nice, I hope they can sing. One of them only started rehearsing with them two days ago. Yikes. Tonight they sing “Mercy” and they have on these great matching teal outfits. The girls are SO Dreamgirls, with these awesome bouffant hair-dos, and the background shows black & white video of the performance like an old-timey TV show.

It’s too bad the singing isn’t as good as the costumes and video. Seriously, what happened to Marcus? He gets better towards the middle and end and the back-up singers are DEFINITELY better. I’m glad he stepped it up, particularly with his big high note at the end because the beginning was rough. I wonder if he was just nervous. Sharon says fabulous, the Hoff says the whole package is great, Piers gets a great crack in at Sharon, calling her “barking” after she barks at him. “Barking” means crazy in Britain. Hee! He then agrees that the act was terrific.

Man, we’ve had two great acts so far! I bet I’ll end up being right about this being the strongest week so far.

3. Pixie Mystere
These guys are cute, but I am not sold on a Vegas show. That’s just a recipe for dudes in trenchcoats driving windowless vans and Chris Hansen. Thank God the Pixies have ditched those creepy bodysuits. See, this what Lake Houston wishes they were. There are only six of them, so I can watch everything at once and they are very talented. Acrobatics and dancing, it’s all very good. One little girl walks down stairs on her hands, whoa. Very entertaining.

I’m in complete favor of having a cash prize for the 18 and under set. That was delightful but it should not be a show in Las Vegas. I mean, it’s Sin City. Might as well give them stripper poles. The Hoff says they are great, Piers is disappointed not to have hit his button. Haha. He loved the choreography and says “really, really good.” Sharon says “magic” and that she wants to take them all home and put them in her garden. Is that like Paula wanting to squish Archuleta’s head off and hang it from her rearview mirror? Sharon goes on to say that in most acts “there’s two or three that are really good and a couple of dodgy ones at the back, but all of you are really brilliant.”  I’m looking at you, Little Orphan Annie wig dancers. Also, we’ve heard “barking” and “dodgy” tonight. I feel so British, I think I might wet myself! I’d have to go use the W.C.!

4. Jay Mattioli
Will he be the first Wild Card through? I think he could be. He is cute in that totally geeky kinda way. His first illusion is making two girls appear from a box. It’s okay. He then plays around with some scarves for WAY too long, hoping we don’t notice how long it takes him by dancing around. He also invokes the American flag. I’ll only support that if he lights it on fire, like Penn & Teller did on the “West Wing.” He gets buzzed by Piers and Sharon, but at the end he makes a cute fuzzy dog named Ace appear in a box, wearing American flag stuff. I revoke my idea that he’ll be the first Wild Card through.

Piers wanted to be surprised. It was “end of the pier” stuff. So British tonight! Sharon says she loves dogs, but it was typical old-timey magic. Yes. The Hoff says it has to be a bigger show, scarves are too small for a Vegas stage. Jay tries to defend himself, saying, “Magic is hard.” Oh geez. Weak, Jay. You big whiner.

5. Bri
Up now is 17 year-old singer/pianist Bri. She’s a cutie pie. Tonight she performs, “Poker Face” and it’s really weird. She starts off really slow and coffee-housey, then speeds up. Her singing sounds off to me, I don’t love it. Plus, what is up with her weirdo African dancers? Hmmm.

The judges go crazy for it, saying she made it her own. The Hoff agrees with me that the dancers were scary, though. Piers says it excited him. Huh. Were we listening to different things?

6. U4RIA dance
Our second Wild Card. Maybe they’ll be the first WC to get through. They have an insane asylum theme going on, I like that. The dancing is good but not as in-sync as I would like. With so few people to watch, the synchronization has to be just spot-on. Footworkingz definitely beat them in that department. It was alright, but they might not make my Top 5 from tonight. Unfortunately, they would totally make my Top 5 from other weeks.

The Hoff says they are “Hoff nuts.” What does that MEAN? He says cool and sexy in a strange way. Yeah, the Hoff is pretty freaky. Piers says the lead dancer, Katrina, was scary in a good way. Yeah, she was definitely the best. Piers says they’re the first WC act that he was pleased with at the end of their performance. Yes. Sharon says it was good, but they aren’t technically that great. I would agree.

7. Dave Johnson
I’ll admit, I thought Dave’s initial audition song was hilarious. If that’s all he’s got for us, then he’s done. He has to have a new song and it has to be funny. This is an actual act (like Terry Fator) where if he can keep coming up with fresh, funny material, he can be very successful. Tonight he performs a song about the Go
lden Girls. AWESOME. As he plays, they show  pictures of the cast in the background. Piers buzzes really early, but I wouldn’t be so fast to do that Piers. You did that on his Hasselhoff song too.

Now I’ll admit, this song does not get as funny as the Hoff song but it’s still funny. Unfortunately, the judges buzz him off. Man, that’s harsh. I thought that song was kinda funny. I think they could’ve let him finish. Piers says he didn’t get it and it wasn’t funny. Well, I think it’s a generational thing, honestly. Sharon says it wasn’t her thing and the lyrics were funny-ish. The Hoff says he went with the audience, which is just a big lie. The audience was laughing and booed when they buzzed him. Weak, judges. I might vote for Dave. I think he got a little shafted tonight. He definitely wasn’t as bad as Manuela Horn or Alizma, so I think it’s crappy that they buzzed him.

8. Hairo Torres
I don’t think this guy is that good, I’ll be honest. He’s boring to me and not a Vegas act. Tonight he has a nerd thing going on with a bunch of back-up dancers. Now that is clever, I’ll admit. There’s a split move that makes me cringe, it’s excellent. I liked it all until the end where he pretends to get dropped on his nuts and then mugs to the camera that he’s okay. That was dumb. But overall, excellent routine. I was pleasantly surprised. I totally take back what I said about him.

Sharon calls him “Jerry Lewis on acid.” Wait, he’s married to his 14 year-old cousin? Haha. She then wonders if he can do his act on his own. Well, it would be boring without a story and backup dancers and that’s what they would’ve said if he’d just come out alone and danced by himself. You can’t have it both ways, Sharon. The Hoff calls him a “one-man Cirque de Soleil.” Piers says he’s strange, but very entertaining. He then says he doesn’t know how he’d fill a 19-minute set in Vegas, but that right now, he did very well.

9. G-Force
These little Barbie & the Rockers want to be the female Jonas Brothers. Yikes. I guess we’ll see. Oh dear. The vocals are not there. The littlest one is JAMMING on the drums, I love her. But this is not good. I mean, at least the little tweens on “Kids, Incorporated” and “MMC” could SING. The lead singer is BAD. If they could find a lead singer, they’d be in good shape. They should’ve kicked big sister out and asked Ciara to join them.

Piers buzzed them (rightly so). The Hoff says a little off on the vocals but they have a major career ahead of them. Well, not if they keep singing like that. Piers says it was off tonight. Sharon says they are unique and agrees that they have a major career ahead.

10. Jeffrey Ou
Okay, this guy is extremely talented but he is not Las Vegas. I mean, maybe if he had a giant candelabra and wore sequined capes. He plays Pachebel’s Canon in D, which is a beautiful song. You’ve all heard it at some wedding or another. It then blasts off into “Saturday” with some female back-up dancers. Unfortunately, with all the accompanying music, you lose his piano playing. He might as well be air-piano playing for all we can hear. I think he and Arcadian Broad should combine their work.

The Hoff says they couldn’t hear the piano and that he doesn’t need the dancers. Yes. Piers liked that he took a risk, but that the fast part didn’t work. Nick Cannon informs us that one of the dancers kicked the cable out of the piano and that’s why we couldn’t hear the fast part. Ohhhh. Man, that sucks. That’s really unfortunate. Sharon likes him better as the Mad Mozart guy.

11. Mario & Jenny
Now these guys are the epitome of a weirdo Vegas act, so let’s hope they come out and wow us. Tonight they start off with some juggling of flaming guitars, that’s neat. Then Mario then lights a giant metal cube on fire and spins it in his hand. It looks totally end-of-world-sorcerer. Very cool. I’d be curious to see what they would do for a 19-minute set, but that was a neat two minutes.

Sharon loved the fire and the danger and says they belong in Vegas. Totally. The Hoff says they step it up every time. Man, Mario’s face is COVERED with soot. Piers says tonight is going to be so tough to vote and that their act was pure Vegas. Yes.

12. Lawrence Beamen
Tonight he sings “You Are So Beautiful” and it starts off too low and breathy, I can’t hear him very well. It gets much better, though. I still wish he was a bit louder, but I do love this guy’s voice.

Sharon says smooth like velvet, the Hoff says he feels sorry for everybody else in the competition. Um, I wouldn’t go THAT far. Piers says rare talent, new Barry White. I mean, I like Lawrence Beamen but… hmm. They are really lavishing on the praise unnecessarily, I think. It was good, not great. I expect more next time.

Why are the weeks so unbalanced, you guys? I mean… god. Last week was TERRIBLE compared to this week. Almost every act tonight could advance and yet only 5 out of 12 get to. Out of the 24 acts that performed these last two weeks, I would advance Acrodunk, Drew Thomas Magic, Mosaic, Thia Megia, Kevin Skinner, Arcadian Broad, The Fab 5, Footworkingz, Marcus Terrell, Pixie Mystere, U4RIA, Hairo Torres, Jeffrey Ou, Mario & Jenny and Lawrence Beamen. That’s five from week one, one from last week and nine from this week. NINE. Geez. 

By my calculations, next week will be African High Flyers, Barbara Padilla, Coney Island Chris, EriAm, Erik & Rickie, Ishaara, Matt & Anthony, Mia Boostrom, Pam Martin & Viva, Recycled Percussion and wild cards Drew Stevyns and Lollipop Girls.

See you guys back here tomorrow night for the results!

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."