Mariahcarey_nickcannon_240 Tonight on “America’s Got Talent,” five acts advance and five go home. But who cares about that because MARIAH CAREY!

Nick Cannon welcomes us to the show. Hey, did you know his wife is Mariah Carey and that she’s performing tonight? I had NO IDEA!

I will reiterate: there was no reason why Manuela Horn, the Diva League or Lake Houston should’ve performed last night. Blech. If any of them advance, I will be just fit to be tied. I think the little dancing girls benefited a lot from some very generous camera work.

We then have a needless video recap of last night and we welcome the judges. Nick and Piers get into Acrodunkgate by examining the footage of last night to see if they did, in fact, miss the last dunk of their routine. Sharon bets him $500 that they made it. The footage reveals that they did make the dunk. Man, thank god they did that… now I can sleep tonight.

Results Time
Nick asks Acrodunk and Breaks8 to step forward. Well, this should be no contest. Acrodunk was miles better than Breaksk8 last night. And then Acrodunk advances. Yeah, that’s right. Too bad Breaksk8. You were cool at auditions but kinda blew it last night.

Terry Fator Time

I didn’t watch “America’s Got Talent” until season 3, so I can’t really speak to his time on the show, but I’ve seen his stuff since the show and I think he’s really funny and talented. Tonight he sings “I Don’t Know Much” by Peabo Bryson and it’s SO GOOD. Holy [expletive], he is amazing.His “Sweet Home Alabama” isn’t quite as awesome as his Peabo, but it’s all still great. I just do not understand how ventriloquism works (I mean… I know how it WORKS but how you could actually do that). Wow. I also love his Joan Rivers/Piers Morgan joke.

After a needless Orville Lounge montage (apparently the lounge where the contestants “hang out” together is sponsored by the Old Man Popcorn), we get back to the results.

Nick brings Manuela Horn, Drew Thomas Magic and Lake Houston Dance down to center stage. If it’s not Drew Thomas Magic that goes through, I am going to be really mad. They were awesome last night. The first act dismissed is Lake Houston. Wow, I’m surprised he wouldn’t dismiss Manuela first and save some suspense. Unless she made it. GASP. Yikes. And then… Drew Thomas is safe. Phew.

Next up is Kevin Skinner and Mosaic. OH NO! NOOOOOO! If Kevin Skinner makes it through after that lackluster, mediocre performance and Mosaic doesn’t make it. Man, oh man. And then that’s what happens. Offfff course. I mean, I loved Kevin Skinner at his audition but last night was NOT as good and Mosaic KILLED IT. Blech.

Mariah Carey Time
She performs “Obsessed,” the song she and Eminem are apparently “feuding” over. I don’t even know. It’s not catchy enough to be a pop dance hit and it doesn’t have any of her vocal gymnastics so it’s not really a soaring ballad. I question its ability to be much of a hit. After she’s done performing, she and Nick Cannon are totally cute together, though. That’s awesome.

More results. The Platt Brothers, Diva League and Grandma Lee are asked to step forward. Well, if I had to pick one of these guys I’d pick Grandma Lee. She is more entertaining than either of the other ones, plus it’s just cool to see an old lady do stand up. The first act eliminated is the Platt Brothers. Sabertooth and his two siblings can hit the road. And then Grandma Lee is through! Yay! I just love her. Grandma Lee reminds me of my grandma who started line-dancing with a group of old ladies after my grandpa passed away. They called themselves “The Silver Liners.” She was a neat old lady, god rest her soul.

We’re down to Arcadian Broad and Thia Megia. They were the #5 and #6 vote-getters and now the judges get to decide (I forgot they did it that way). Well, if it were up to me Arcadian Broad would advance and so would Mosaic and Thia and Kevin Skinner would pack their bags. But alas… it is not up to me.

The judges go Piers voting for Thia because she’s progressed (that’s debatable), Sharon voting for Arcadian and The Hoff voting for Arcadian Broad. YAY! Thia can go try out for “American Idol” in two years, she’ll be fine.

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Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."