laura antm cycle 17 'America's Next Top Model': Bills, bills, billsThe women were asked to Express themselves and compete for a “CSI” role on “America’s Next Top Model.” So who will be playing dead hooker no. 2?


Allison’s booty tooch is on full display in the house. Woo hoo, toochy coo. The wine is busting out and Lisa says she went to “Celebrity Rehab” and doesn’t drink anymore. Good for her. They also get a mail call. Poor Camille gets a box full of bills. Yuck.

And then Kayla starts having a racing heart, feeling dizzy and hyperventilating, saying she took a bunch of ibuprofen. She is taken away by ambulance, but returns at 2 a.m. with Laura. She says she had cardiac arrhythmia and now she’s OK. Lamest after-school special ever.

The Challenge

The prize this week is a guest-starring spot on “CSI.” Creator Anthony Zuiker is there to help judge. They are given a scene and 30 minutes to memorize it. The scene includes “gas chromatograph mass spectrometer.” This oughta be fun.

They get to act with Robert David Hall, the medicle examiner on the show. It’s not actually a long scene – there are only a few lines, they just big words. Surprisingly, Angelea does well. She’s so great when she’s not being horrible and mean. Bre also does really well. Lisa just has a giant potty mouth.

Bre ends up getting the part and Angelea is so disappointed and upset. Awww.

The Photoshoot

Each girl will either be the girlfriend, the flirt, the cool chick or the socialite. They are posing with super-cute male models. Angelea is a socialite who became a “real rich b****.” Heh. Kayla is a cool chick. Allison is a girlfriend and looks so adorable. Bre is a flirt and seems to lack energy. Dominique is a cool chick in flashy red. Bianca is a flirt and she goes past “flirt” to “high-class hooker.”

Bianca then has a typical fit, declaring that she’s the model out of the group and she doesn’t think she has to do this kind of “get a word and pose” stuff. Oooh, she has att. ti. tude.

Shannon is a girlfriend. Laura is a flirt and does surprisingly well. Alexandria is a socialite, as is Camille. Lisa is a cool chick and goes just totally off-the-rails in her photoshoot. Are we sure she hasn’t been dipping into the wine?

Judges Panel

Laura has on another outfit made by her grandma Wanda Sue. That is so freakin’ cute. And the outfits are great! Laura’s picture is knockout, btw. Kayla’s picture is surprisingly beautiful – very icy.

Dominique’s photo is not my favorite, but the judges love it. Bre’s picture is too cutsey and commercial, I agree with Nigel. Not fashion or editorial at all. Kind of barfy and Hallmark-y.

Alexandria’s picture is really boring. Allison’s is adorable. Makes me want to buy a sweater and sit by a fire with a book. Camille is completely lifeless. She could play the corpse on “CSI” when Bre tapes her guest-starring role.

Lisa’s picture is OK. Not as bad as Camille’s, but Lisa is just full of excuses about her acting and her photoshoot. Bianca’s shot is gorgeous, but I still think she kinda sucks. The judges don’t like it, though. Angelea’s picture is nice. Shannon’s is boring, but the judges like it.

I think Camille and her bills are dunzo. Lisa is definitely Bottom 2 with her.


Best picture goes to Angelea – must also be a reward for her challenge performance because I liked her picture, but I don’t think it was the best. But good for her.

The rest go Dominique, Allison, Laura, Kayla, Shannon, Bre, Bianca, Alexandria. So the Bottom 2 are Camille and Lisa and predictably, Camille goes home. I haven’t loved her yet in this competition. She’s very blah.

Next week: The Kardashians. Sigh.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."