Last week on ‘America’s Next Top Model’, Marvita talked herself out of being a model but apparently didn’t merit a "never-in-my -life-have-I-yelled-at-a-girl-like-this" meltdown from Miss T. Damn. Doesn’t Tyra know that her particular brand of crazy is the reason we tune in?

Claire compliments Aimee on her beautiful skin and photos, and talks to her husband on the phone. Her baby is so beautiful, and it’s clearly so hard for Claire to be away from her and from her husband. Dominique has a habit of setting her alarm hours early and sleeping through it, waking all of the other girls in the bunks. Claire confronts her about this, backed up by Anya (at least, I think Anya backs her up. I really can’t understand a word that comes out of that girl’s mouth.) Lauren tries to intervene until Dominique tries to "put her in her place", and then wow I just remembered that Lauren’s from Brooklyn. Heh. Whitney, still stewing from last week’s allegations of racism, jumps in with both feet. Dominique thinks that Dominique is just so strong that the other girls are just trying to tear Dominique down. DOMINIQUE DOMINIQUE DOMINIQUE. I’ve never seen anyone so infatuated with her own name.

The Scroll of Doom reveals that the girls are sick? Maybe they’re off to a clinic of some kind? Tyty drives the limocab to a dance studio and oh lord I am giddy at the thought of Lauren in a movement clinic. Tyra’s sporting fingerless armwarmer gloves? I don’t know. It looks like she’s wearing something from the Patricia Field Flashdance Collection, exclusively at Walmart. And I love it. Then Tyra "acts" like she’s sprained her ankle, transitioning into a lesson about posing with pain. She starts writhing on the floor, and THIS is the brand of crazy I signed up for! Anya and Whitney rock the ensuing pose-off, and Dominique impresses Tyra by bringing her high-fashion game. Lauren is predictably gawky/awkward/bad. Back at the pad the scroll reveals that the pose-off was a challenge and Anya is the winner. And her prize is an incredibly notable solo shoot with Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker!

I would imagine one of the first lessons a young model learns is that if you show up alone for a shoot, and Nigel Barker tells you to strip naked and get into bed, you RUN. FOR. THE. HILLS. Anya unfortunately has forgotten her rape whistle and obliges. She looks absolutely amazing. If this is what bleaching your eyebrows does for a girl, sign me up. Back at the house, Aimee reminds us that she personally is too Mormon to take her clothes off. Dominique tries to sleep while Claire, Whitney and Lauren bond over their shared interests: namely, hating Dominique. The next morning, the scroll reveals ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And we’re off to Williamsburg! Claire and Lauren must be so comfortable. Mr. Jay tells the girls that they will be posing as styles of music. What now? Russell James is their photographer, and once again, nicely played, show! Fatima is "metal rock" in Bret Michaels drag, but she overthinks her posing again. Katarzyna, in Christian Siriano hair, looks amazing as – Avril Lavigne? Oh, emo. Poor Lauren staggers out as "pop" in vinyl hooker boots and reminds us again that she is punk rock. Claire is "country" in a Marilyn Monroe wig! Whoo hoo! But she misuses her body in the shots. Dominique is "folk music" with long Judy Collins hair and lots of ruffles. She actually looks oddly like Barbra Streisand, which…the mind boggles. Anya is punk in a platinum ‘fro and skinny tie. Stacy-Ann is trance, or house, or something, and does her usual 5 Stacy-Ann poses. Aimee, the girl in the house with absolutely NO soul, portrays R&B. Poorly. Whitney is "grunge" and people, you do not tie a flannel shirt around the hips of a plus-sized girl. That’s just cruel. Regardless, she tears it up.

Panel! You know the drill. Russell James guest judges. Whitney’s photo is "the real thing", and Fatima rocks her body in her film. Anya needs to find her light, but her photo is fierce. Lauren does some amazing leg work in her photo, but Miss Jay warns her that if she doesn’t perk up in panel she’s history. Aimee and Stacy-Ann are bland, and Katarzyna is going to get her hair chopped off in real life. Good call. Claire has her worst shoot – she’s too hard for country. Dominique gets a good shot, but she has trouble working her face and body at the same time. The bottom two are Aimee and Claire (what now?!) Aimee already knows she’s going home, and she is.

Next week: go-see week!

I feel like they only put Claire in the bottom two to manufacture drama. There is no reason for Stacy-Ann to keep skating by, week after week. And I really thought Aimee was a contender. You?

Posted by:Jordan Hudson