Last week, Dominique’s crazy reasserted itself, Claire joined forces with Lauren and Whitney to battle her, and sweet little Aimee went home. And yes, for those keeping track, Stacy-Ann is still in the running. Towards becoming. ‘America’s Next Top Model’. For reasons known only to Tyra’s wig.

Whitney is proud of being called first in last week’s judging despite her size, and feels that America is ready for a plus-sized top model. Which means Whitney’s going home tonight, right? Dominique thinks Whitney is intimidated by Dominique’s fierceness and Dominique Dominique Dominique! The Scroll of Aural Pain says something about making it here, making it anywhere, so – they’re going to New York? Aren’t they already….oh, never mind. Lauren pours out Fatima’s coffee and the two fight in the kitchen, with Lauren overreacting to a truly impressive degree. The girls go to Elite and learn about go-sees. The girls are split into two groups and given a GPS device and told they can only walk to each destination. Anya takes over her team’s GPS and leads them astray, despite Lauren’s protestations that she knows New York. Fatima, Lauren, Anya, and Katarzyna model Seinfeld’s ex-girlfriend’s bikinis, while Claire, Whitney, Stacy-Ann and Dominique model evening gowns for Pamella Roland. Whitney is told that she’s too fat for runway, which she takes surprisingly well considering it’s maybe the most horrible thing a girl can hear. Dominique, of course, is thrilled to see Whitney struggle.

The teams get calls directing them to their next go-sees, and they essentially just switch designers. Shoshanna loves Whitney, which – awesome. Actually, she loves everyone except for Claire. Pamella thinks Fatima is too thin. Say what now? The girls get sent back to Elite, where they all meet up and go together to Alice + Olivia. Designer Stacey Bendet thinks that Dominique doesn’t look like a model, but Fatima’s body is perfect. Take that, Pamella! Stacey loves Katarzyna but rolls her eyes at Lauren’s walk. Ann Shoket is back! Hey Ann! Claire’s team needs to get organized, but wins, while Fatima’s team needs to work on their runway. Stacy-Ann is the overall challenge winner, having booked the most jobs for the day, and the team wins a shoot for Seventeen Magazine. The Scroll reveals that they need to avoid getting "washed out," and the girls limocab to a warehouse where Mr. Jay is running on a huge treadmill/runway. It’s incredibly cool and incredibly bizarre. They all look up to see that they will be posing on an elevated mylar platform in standing water. (It’s hard to explain.) The models are styled in flowing dresses with no hair or makeup. Claire, up first, smacks her head hard against the floor. She sits it out for a while while Dominique really rocks the shoot, then Claire returns but really disappoints Jay. Lauren is uncomfortable and looks it. Anya looks amazing, while backstage, Katarzyna cries as she gets the haircut promised her last week. Whitney is a little stilted but her face looks so beautiful. Stacy-Ann continues to fail miserably at posing. Fatima looks like Padma Lakshmi drowning, but it works for Mr. Jay.

At panel, there are prizes! And judges! Some more noted than others! Claire’s picture is lovely, but Claire’s face is lost in it. Stacy-Ann’s mouth looks weird, and once again, her film was bad. Katarzyna finally corrects Tyra’s butchering of her name, and Paulina, backhandedly complimenting Katarzyna’s haircut, tells her that "that weird Eastern European tackiness is gone!" Um, thanks, Paulina? Her photo rocks. Whitney’s photo looks like a sonogram, but Tyra loveslovesloves it. Dominique is dressed so inappropriately at panel, and is making an orgasm face in her picture. Lauren looks dead in her photo. Fatima’s picture is so, so beautiful – her angles are perfect and her hands and feet and neck look miles long. Anya looks like an alien in the best, most modelly way possible. Lauren and Claire land in the bottom two, both for their lack of growth throughout the competition, but it’s Claire who has to go home. Wait, what?!

Next week: Fatima loses citizenship, and Lauren loses a fingertip!

Well, that was a shocker. Were you surprised Claire was sent home? And if Lauren finally snaps and kills Dominique, is there a jury in America who would convict?

Posted by:Jordan Hudson