dominique americas next top model michael jackson Americas Next Top Model: La Toya Jackson <i>and</i> the Kardashians?!
We start things off Wednesday (Oct. 12) on “America’s Next Top Model” with Bre and Lisa talking about how they need to step it up and how they’re in danger, which leads me to predict they are the Bottom 2 tonight. Meanwhile, Bianca is all mopey and Dominique rightly points out you can never be above an opportunity, which is true.

A lot of the evicted models have been telling us in interviews that they were pitched something totally different for all-stars than what it turned out to be. But it’s still face time on TV and a chance for something.

Now there is phone drama about calling their families. Shannon has a good idea about drawing spots for time and Bianca gets last. She has a problem with it, but she’s not confrontational about it, but Shannon the “quiet Christian” kind of loses it. I don’t love Bianca, but I’m with her on this one. She wasn’t being crazy this time, but Lisa jumps in to defend Shannon and it devolves into a screaming fight. It’s totally weird – 0 to 60 in three seconds.

The Challenge

The Kardashian collection is what they are modeling, so guess who’s there?! O.M.G. The fashion show involves them getting on a carousel and riding. It’s just as humiliating as it sounds, which is awesome. The carousel is going at like warp speed for a carousel and the girls are wearing jacked up heels. I’m surprised nobody broke an ankle.

Bre totally rocks it, despite looking a little too salacious on her carousel horse. Lisa is also pretty good. Bianca gets kinda bumped by Shannon, but I don’t think it was on purpose. It’s hard to stop getting of the carousel. Alexandria also does well, despite having a really mixed metaphor about animal fighting.

The two winners end up being Bre and Lisa. They win the clothes.Miss J then confronts Bianca about her attitude, but he does it in front of everyone, which is not the way to do it. Bianca goes ont he defensive and starts complaining about Lisa and “the Christian.” Earlier I was on Bianca’s side, but not now. She’s crazypants.

Back at the house, the girls are saying if Bianca doesn’t want to be here, she should leave. While Bre and Bianca decide to, I don’t know, throw down or something. Bre calls the other girls “a coalition” and starts pounding her fist into her palm.
The Photoshoot

They are dressing up like Michael Jackson. Oh my god, this show. And La Toya Jackson is there. So between her and the Kardashians, the famewhores are really coming out tonight. This is one of the weirdest, creepiest photoshoots ever.

Bianca is early 80s MJ and she’s rocking it. Bre is mid-80s MJ. Alexandria is late 90s MJ. She’s not great. Angelea is late 80s MJ. Dominique is “Smooth Criminal” MJ and she looks fabulous. Kayla is late 80s and she’s pretty good too. Shannon is late 80s and does well. Laura is brocade jacket 90s MJ and has an awesome dance move. Allison is hilariously 70s Jackson 5 MJ. Lisa is 80s “Thriller” MJ and she does well, but Bianca can only trash her.

After the shoot is over, Lisa tries to high five some of the girls and Bianca is having none of it. So Shannon asides, “Rejected!” and Bianca is all mad again. Shannon was just trying to be funny. It wasn’t funny, it was kind of dumb, but not malicious.

Bianca just needs to stop being such a sensitive drama queen. If she wasn’t like that, Lisa and Shannon wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion earlier the one time she wasn’t being like that.

Judges’ Panel

Shannon looks great. Kayla has incredible motion in her shot. She looks like she’s performing. Dominique also has great motion to her photo. Angelea’s is not my favorite – she looks nothing like Michael in her shot. Allison is adorable and very high fashion, but not super MJ. But she’s still the most editorial, so that’s good.

Bre is up on her toes and looks uncannily like MJ. The judges criticize her holding her breath, but her shot is gorgeous, so stuff it, judges. Alexandria is like Allison – not MJ, but editorial. So it really depends on what they were looking for.

Lisa is doing the splits again and looks nothing like MJ. It’s not editorial either. I’m not a fan. Laura’s MJ move is great. She is very editorial like Alexandria and Allison. Very MJ homage, instead of MJ impersonator. Bianca is almost there, but not quite. Not enough energy, not looking at the camera, very boring.

She then gets called out for acting like she doesn’t want to be there. Bianca then goes on the defensive about her personality and the girls seeing her as a threat. Yes, that’s the problem.

My prediction for best photo is Dominique or Kayla.


The judges let La Toya pick best photo and the entire order of the pictures. We have to take a commercial break because of how dramatic that news is. I know I just almost fainted.

When we’re back, the order is Laura, Shannon, Dominique, Allison, Alexandria, Kayla, Bre and Bianca, leaving Lisa and Angelea in the Bottom 2. Man, I think it should’ve been Lisa and Bianca. Angelea’s picture was better than Bianca’s.

Then at the end, La Toya says her brother was about love and giving, so nobody is going home this week. Y’all, Tyra has TWO photos in her hands. *sob*

Next week: Powder puff football! Awesome.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."