On “America’s Next Top Model,” it’s time for the girls to go overseas, without even the fanfare of a “Pack your bags, y’all.” They travel from Venice Beach to Venice, Italy, where there are many gondolas, churches and pigeons who like to poop on Jane and Liz. Bella! After boozing it up a little, they head right into a high-fashion period shoot near the Rialto Bridge.
The girls pose in teams of three with, you guessed it, a swarthy Italian male model. He’s playing the part of Casanova, with the ladies vying for his affection whilst lounging across a gondola. They are corseted and bedecked in a mixture of ornate fabric and cone boobs. Liz, Chris and Kayla pose together and Liz and Chris in particular are bothered by the fact that it’s hot as hell. They have a hard time getting it together at first, but Kayla finds her comfort zone immediately. She’s soft, feminine, and the most believable even though she has no actual chemistry with the male model. For her part, she’s determined not to let her issues with men get in the way of the shoot, and they don’t. Chris gets excessively awkward, while it will come as no surprise that Liz complains a lot. Ann, Chelsey and Jane pose together, and stressed-out Ann looks completely petrified and uncomfortable the whole time. However, Chelsey and Jane work it harem-style until rain cuts the shoot short.
The girls learn they’re moving to Milan, home of Vogue Italia and IMG. They’re not so impressed by their lodging, which is humble compared to foreign location pads of yore and doesn’t seem to have enough beds for everyone. Tyra visits and tells them that she wanted them to have the experience of living in a model apartment, and that “Top Model” typically isn’t a realistic portrayal of model housing. OR ANYTHING. But that is an issue for another time.
After discovering the magic of rollaway beds, the girls head to Missoni, where they meet Miss J., creative director Angela Missoni, and her daughter Margherita, who is heir to the Missoni empire. They are outfitted in pieces from the winter collection and asked to walk. The stuff is gorgeous, though composed primarily of knitwear and clearly tortuous in muggy summer weather. The girls walk for Angela, and then are forced to wear their gorgeous, oppressive knitwear to panel. This is clearly some sort of a ploy to get one of the girls to pass out, which almost happens as Chelsey and Liz both seem on the verge of fainting. Tyra lets everyone sit down, but they still can’t take off their giant knitted ponchos.
Chelsey and Kayla get the most praise from the judges, and Ann gets secondary kudos. There are mixed reviews for the rest of the girls, and ALT goes so far as to say that Chris looks like she’s afraid of a giant crow in her photo. She lands in the bottom two, but it’s constantly complaining Liz and her d�class� stance that get the final boot.
Photo credit: The CW