archer-vice-rules-of-extraction-FX.jpg“Archer” picked up this week right where last week left off — with Sterling, Ray and Cyril captured by La Madrina’s men and on the way to “prison.” Except they weren’t on their way to prison, they were going to be unceremoniously executed and dumped in the jungle to become “jaguar poop.”

Of course, our intrepid heroes managed to escape and even procured more cocaine than they originally brought down to South America with them. Yay?

Meanwhile, the “Archer” ladies were busy throwing Malory a spa day to help her relax, which was hilarious. Between the crazy crocodile attack and the sex conversation between the women during Malory’s massage, this was one of the funniest episodes so far thsi season (and that is saying something).

Best Lines:

Sterling: “Well Cyril, when we get there and I join the toughest gang, don’t hold your breath for a bid.”
Cyril: “They’re prison gangs, not frats.”

Sterling: “We might as well slather ourselves with whatever it is crocodiles eat and swim down.”
Cyril: “What do crocodiles eat?”
Sterling: “Everything! They eat everything! And fear is their bacon bits.”

Malory: “I took three Valium. If I get any more relaxed, I will literally die.”

: “Why are you so scared of crocodiles?”
Sterling: “Gee, I don’t know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction, physically unchanged for a 100 million years because it’s the perfect killing machine. A half-ton of cold-blooded fury with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoof.”

Cyril: “Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?”
Sterling: “Yes, Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccine.”



Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."