What happened on the finale of “Bachelor Pad”?
It’s the “Dancing With the Stars” promotional event! The couples are ballroom dancing, each with the help of a “DWTS” pro. Elizabeth at least has the self-awareness to warn Kovacs that if he drools over their hot pro, she will go nuts on him (I may be paraphrasing).
Kiptyn/Tenley get Chelsie Hightower and the fox trot and I’m with Tenley — LOVE CHELSIE. Elizabeth and Kovacs get Edyta Sliwinska and the rumba — snerk, she’s hot. And of course, in his first interview he can’t hardly keep his tongue in his mouth about how hot Edyta is. Dave and Natalie get Louis Van Amstel and the cha-cha.
Dave is remarkably cool about dancing with Louis to learn the steps, while Edyta is draping herself all over Kovacs and Elizabeth is trying not to light them on fire with her stare. She comments that she “felt very insecure, actually.” Really? “Actually”? Uh … okay.
Dave tells Natalie she’s thinking too much. I can’t wait ’til he breaks out “spaghetti arms! This is my dance space, this is your dance space.” Meanwhile, Elizabeth is feeling more insecure with every passing moment and with Kiptyn/Tenley, she looks gorgeous and he is trying his best to keep up. They really do have an unfair advantage with Tenley’s dancing background.
The couples are outfitted appropriately. The men look great, Natalie is smokin’ in one of those barely-there cha-cha outfits, Tenley is beautiful in a purple ball gown. Elizabeth got the shaft. I mean, she’s cute and has a very nice body, but her dress is fugly. Poor Crazypants.
The guest judges are Melissa Rycroft, Trista Sutter (nee Rehn) and … Jake Pavelka. DUN DUN DUN. Tenley’s quiet little, “Crap” is hysterical. They are the first couple up and they are adorable. Very good for Tenley and very good effort for Kiptyn — even their fall is cute. They get 8 from Melissa and 9s from Trista and Jake for a 26.
Kovacs and Elizabeth are second and … there are a few sexy parts, I suppose, but they lose their steps a lot. Eh. They get 8s across the board for a 24. Dave and Natalie’s cha-cha is cute and they are having a great tiem, but it’s a little out of control and then at the end it just goes completely bonkers. Haha.
Melissa gives them a 9, Jake gives them an 8 and Trista gives them an 8 for a 25. A 9 seems pretty generous to me, but I guess it was to make it as tense as possible. I enjoy Tenley’s interview victory dance, she’s the cutest.
Tenley and Kiptyn don’t know if they should take the couple they know they can beat (Kovacs/Elizabeth) or the couple they may not be able to beat but who deserve it more (Natalie/Dave). There’s a lot of filler made out of that conundrum.
Finally there is a Rose Ceremony. We can see why Tenley thinks she’d be too sensitive to be the Bachelorette — she’s a mess. But Kiptyn does all the talking, so she can just stand there and cry, and they give the roses to Dave/Natalie.
In the limo, Kovacs tries to spin it like “finding a relationship” is better than winning all the money. Hmph. Mark me down as skeptical.
So Kovacs and Elizabeth are no longer together and Kovacs basically calls Elizabeth a crazy person. We hear ya, Kovacs. And the Outsiders are rightfully angry at Gia for giving that one pivotal rose to Wes instead of Craig. Also — no more boyfriend for Gia!
Wes admits that “bad boys need love too” and the audience hoots. I love how Dave and Wes, arguably two of the biggest jerks on this show, have come out looking so great on this show. Wes asks Gia if he can kiss her and the audience cheers and finally there’s a nice kiss between them. Awww. Even my cold, black heart melts a little.
The final two couples come out and the way Tenley says “Kiptyn’s my boyfriend” alternately makes me want to barf and jump up and down and squeal with her. Chris then reveals the former houseguests will be voting for which couple wins the money.
The only houseguests who are really mad are Krisily and Michelle. Krisily does have a legitimate beef with Dave. He claims he didn’t have time to tell her, but he does apologize, so I guess that’s something. But he also wants her vote, so…
As for Michelle … honestly? You can’t attack the Disney Princess and come out looking good. If I woke up after people were making out in the bedroom and thought it was Michelle and Craig M.? I would’ve told EVERYBODY. Are you kidding?! That’s hilarious. Team Tenley. Michelle’s a nutjob.
The couples now get to “plead their case” (read: “beg”) for the money. Gwen gets to nail Dave a little about something hurtful he said about the older contestants. I can see why he would make that joke, but it also isn’t that nice considering that many of the contestants are 30+.
When Kiptyn and Tenley take their turn to beg, they are super-nice and lalala birds and squirrels and rainbows. Interestingly, Juan wants to know what Tenley did to get the end and very nicely Jessie S. sticks right up for her. That’s right, Juan! Tenley won challenges! Pipe down, old man.
The houseguests vote and Dave/Natalie win by a vote of 8 to 4, we don’t see three of the votes, but I can tell you Gia voted for Dave/Natalie too. I don’t know who Kovacs/Elizabeth voted for.
It now comes down to “share” vs. “keep” for Dave and Natalie. In a privately deliberation room, if they both choose “share,” they split it. If they both choose “keep,” the rest of the houseguests split the money, which is roughly $14.5K each. If one chooses “keep” and one chooses “share,” the one who chose “keep” gets to keep it. Intrigue!
So Dave chooses “share” and nobody is surprised. Natalie asks Chris Harrison if she can say something and she looks so guilty, while Dave looks ready to absolutely vomit. The crowd and the contestants (and our entire press room) freak out a little. We were sure she kept the money. But it turns out she was just messing around and she shared it. Awesome.
What you didn’t see:
I got to attend the finale taping and not everything made it to air, of course. So what you didn’t see was that Michelle and Juan have been hanging out since the show ended, but wouldn’t admit to a relationship. When Michelle confronted Tenley, that went on a lot longer than on TV, with Michelle spouting more crazy and Tenley crying as she apologized. Dave told the group that the only vote that counts to him is Wes’ vote because he wants to repair their bromance.
Jonathan and Craig M. said that they aren’t necessarily BFFs, but they’re okay with each other now, which is nice. Elizabeth called Tenley out on saying that she had kissed Kiptyn before the show and Tenley just seems confused because their first kiss was on the show during the kissing competition. Not sure what that’s about, we didn’t get the whole story.
We also got to interview the contestants and the hosts after the show wrapped, so check back later for those — we can’t post them until after the West Coast airing. But it’ll be worth it to check back, because Wes is drunk and spouting stories of getting a gun pulled on him and Dave in Texas! Don’t miss it.
Did you enjoy “Bachelor Pad”? We really did, we hope they do it again next summer, provided they can get enough fun people.
Photo credit: ABC