house has had quite a few shakeups in its 19 days. None of them, however, were quite as literal (or amusing) as seeing the house’s reaction to the recent Los Angeles earthquake.

Before we get things shaking (get it? shaking? like the earthquake? gosh, I’m clever) let’s do a quick recap of the past week: Keesha won HoH and used her power to get revenge on those who wronged Steven, namely Angie and Jessie, although she assured Jessie he wasn’t her true target. Jerry and Memphis fought. Jessie lost his marbles and tried to bully Keesha into nominating Libra in his place. Keesha won the veto competition and unsurprisingly kept her nominations the same. There was a banner, and a few houseguests lied about what it said.

Julie welcomes us to this week’s live show looking quite lovely. In fact, there really isn’t anything about her appearance that I can mock, which makes me blue. Doesn’t she know the pleasure I get from my weekly dressing down of her, well, dresses? Sigh. She wastes no time getting us into the action, which begins with an unfortunate montage of Michelle freaking out about losing one of her very good friends. That she’s known for 19 days. There are no words, so let’s just move on. Jessie’s down in a different way, wondering what his alliance did wrong to get targeted so early. I’d love to roll back the footage for him on his entire week as Head of Household and let him know exactly what he did wrong, but alas, I cannot. Memphis blames Jerry somehow, for simply existing, I suppose.

Angie tries another tactic besides bullying and intimidation to get a few votes on her side. That’s right, she has a calm and rational conversation with Jerry! She’s far too sane for this house. Jerry says he has nothing against her personally, but that her alliance of Memphis, Jessie and Michelle got really cocky during the past few weeks. Michelle gets wind of Jerry’s statement and works herself (and Jessie, and Memphis) into a right frenzy which culminates in her confronting him in the kitchen. Because everyone in this house apparently has a fuse about an inch long, the confrontation quickly escalates into a full-on screaming match. There comes a point where the yelling just becomes like background noise, you know? I fear 19 days is far too early to have reached the point where yelling isn’t interesting anymore.

After the boring fighting, it’s time for the fun: scaring the crap out of the houseguests! This time, instead of Big Brother doing the scaring it’s Mother Nature. Good job, Mother Nature! The entire house is sitting around when all of a sudden an earthquake hits. The people inside freak out a bit and move away from the walls, but don’t think to run to a safer location until the thing is over. The houseguests in the back yard immediately sprint for the center of the lawn, which was actually pretty smart. The best part of the entire sequence is the aftermath, with the folks outside urging the insiders to get out onto the lawn (after the earthquake was already over) and the hilarious sequence where Jerry doesn’t even understand what just happened. In fact, he thinks a truck ran into the side of the house. Hee! Mother Nature, from her perch up on high, giggles with glee.

After the earthquake shenanigans, it’s time for the weekly Q&A session with the houseguests. This time we actually get some interesting answers when we learn that Memphis got so angry when Jerry called him a womanizer because he’s "dedicated his life" to treating women with respect, and Jerry pipes up that he sincerely apologized to Memphis for the incident. Memphis, in turn, says that he can forgive Jerry but not necessarily forget. So Jerry should be hoping Memphis doesn’t win HoH. Then Julie talks to Keesha in the HoH room, where Keesha reveals that she is planning on staying loyal to Libra until the end, but in her heart she feels more loyal towards Renny.

Next, Angie and Jessie give their final speeches before the live vote. Unsurprisingly, Jessie’s speech is all about respect and about how everyone should give him the respect he believes he deserves (what is unsaid: or else) and Angie’s speech is all about rational thought and the fact that Jessie is obviously the bigger threat. Hmm. Angie gave a reasoned, thoughtful speech and Jessie mouthed off like a tool. I wonder who they’ll keep? If you said the mouthy tool, you are correct, as Angie is unanimously evicted. Silly Angie. Rational thought doesn’t work on reality show contestants! Angie is surprisingly emotional at her eviction, and assures us that her wearing Brian’s knit cap every day since we was evicted wasn’t because she was in love with him, but because it drove the rest of the house crazy. Score one for Angie! Why is it I like everyone in the house so much more once they are evicted?

Finally, it’s time for the reveal of who America voted for to be our America’s Player for the week. And the winner is…Dan! I knew it! I totally would have voted for Dan, if I voted for these sorts of things. After a moment’s hesitation, he accepts, explaining that the $20,000 he gets for doing our bidding for a week will greatly help him since he’s a teacher. Good luck, Dan. You’re the only one I still sort of like.

This week’s HoH competition is called "Livin’ on the Edge." (And…now I am going to have that Aerosmith song stuck in my head for days. Thanks, BB.) The houseguests are all perched on a small ledge on a wall built in the backyard of the house. The goal? Stay up there the longest. Sounds easy, until the game starts and the ledge gets much, much smaller. Then, the entire wall starts shaking! Just like an earthquake! Clever, BB. As the show ends, we see a wind machine start up, blowing sand all in the houseguests’ eyes. Now, that’s just mean. Just like I like it.

Favorite quotes:

  • "I thought somebody ran into the house or something." – Jerry, on the earthquake
  • "You know, it’s Jerry, he’s an idiot." – Memphis, on Jerry’s earthquake response
  • "Just for the record, I am married, but Mrs. Chen is my mother." – Julie to Dan, in response to his habit of referring to Mrs. Moonves as Mrs. Chen

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Posted by:Carrie Raisler