shelly adam bb 13 'Big Brother 13': Shelly or Adam, who goes home?When we last left our “Big Brother 13” hamsters, Porsche had won Head of Household and CBS had re-instituted the duo twist via Pandora’s Box (because by God, they will get Rachel and Jordan to the end if it kills them).

Post-Pandora’s Box

To her credit, Porsche totally regrets taking Pandora’s Box and ruining her four-person alliance for $5000 (and 5K for her partner Kalia). Meanwhile, Rachel and Jordan are naturally ecstatic. Well, Rachel’s ecstatic. Jordan is a little slower in jumping on the excitement train.

So Porsche nominates “Rojo,” as they are calling themselves (via the live feeds, which it’s not too late to sign up for%name 'Big Brother 13': Shelly or Adam, who goes home?). But it hardly matters this week who is on the block. Later, Rachel and Jordan approach Kalia and Porsche for a final four deal. Everybody seems on board – that no matter who wins what, Shelly and Adam are the next two gone. But we’ll see if that works out.

You know – Rachel and Jordan are both more interesting, less abrasive, smarter and more independent without their men in the house.

Meanwhile, Shelly is feeling pretty sorry for herself because Jordan is not speaking to her after she ousted Jeff. Frankly, I think Jordan needs to relax. That’s how it works, blondie. You don’t have to be Shelly’s BFF, but the silent treatment? Are you 10 years old?

Shelly also needs to stop crying and talking about how her husband and her daughter are her alliance. That makes no sense, Shell. Just own your power move and move on. 

Power of Veto Competition

There are super, super creepy dummies hanging in the backyard for each remaining houseguest to hang on for the competition. They are hanging on these dummies that have their former partner’s face on them. It’s like something out of “Silence of the Lambs.” Also, funny how this is a similar competition to the one Rachel won the night they all entered the house.

Adam falls first, after less than five minutes. I know he’s a big guy and not in super-great shape, but that’s pretty weak. Four minutes?! And then Jordan drops after 8 minutes?! Seriously, that is terrible, y’all.

There is then a small segment about Kalia farting during the competition and she DRs, “I promise I don’t pass gas.” Really? Ever? ‘Cause everybody passes gas, dummy.

Shelly falls after 12 minutes, which is also pretty weak. Meanwhile, Porsche and Kalia are struggling and Rachel is sitting on her dummy like it ain’t no thang. Porsche falls at 18:30 and I am shocked Kalia is the next-to-last person standing. Not that she can’t do stuff, but some of the people who have dropped before her are in better shape.

Kalia falls at 32 minutes and Rachel wins. Shocking that she would win a competition she already won.

Post-POV Comp

So at this point, Shelly knows it’s her head on the chopping block.  She goes to Jordan in “non-game” capacity to clear the air and they have a nice come-to-Jesus moment where they apologize to each other. Jordan DRs that she forgives, but she won’t forget.

By the way, I do think Jordan is a very sweet girl (way sweeter than Jeff, who gets a very generous edit on this show) and I think she will be really appalled when she finds out about the threats against Shelly’s family.

Shelly then starts working on Rachel and Jordan to keep her, swearing that she won’t turn against them ever. She’s been doing that all week on the live feeds and it seems like Rachel and Jordan are considering it. But that might be just for show.

There’s the totally pointless POV ceremony. Obviously, Rachel takes herself and Jordan off and Shelly and Adam go up. So who do you think is going home, BB13 fans?

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."