Final Head of Household
The endurance comp loses Ian within like 15 minutes (because he made a deal with Ian for Ian to drop) and then Dan the mastermind gets Danielle to throw it to him too by spraying some serious Dan mist in her eyes about the golden path he’s laid out for them to get to the finals. Seriously, Dan deserves to win this game.
For the second round, Dan and Danielle make a plan for if Danielle loses to Ian — she’s going to have a fit and try to scare Ian into thinking he can’t be final HOH and cut her because she’ll taint the whole jury.
The second round is a puzzle, but also physical. The times turn out to be Danielle 7:31 and Ian at 6:04. Wow, he won pretty handily. And Danielle immediately starts in on the contingency plan. It really throws Ian for a loop because he’s such a squirrelly little guy, but he still says he won’t throw the final round.
It’s Q&A completing jury member questions. They both get Ashley and Joe right, then Dan misses Britney and Frank’s questions and Ian takes a two-point lead. Then Ian gets the next question right and Dan doesn’t, so Ian wins final HOH. Ian might have just won this game.
If he was smart, he’d take Danielle with him. But something tells us he’ll take Dan.
Now is the portion where they make us watch the jury have hypothetical discussions about who deserves to win, without revealing anything of course. It’s interesting that Jenn seems as bitter as Frank. Frank we expect to be a sore loser because he thinks he was completely entitled to the win, but we expected better than Jenn.
And Joe also points out that Dan has been “unethical” and Frank agrees. Oh, give me a breakin’ break. Barf. Swearing on the Bible is not any worse than any other lie, you guys. Stop being so melodramatic about what it is you’re involved in.
The Final 2
Ian decides to evict Danielle, which we think may have just cost him $500,000. He would have beaten her in a landslide, but Dan could beat him. In her exit interview, she says Ian told her straight up that he can’t beat her in the finals, which … hmm. Maybe we’re giving the jury too much credit about voting for good game play.
During the jury questions, Frank’s question is about Dan’s swearing on stuff, which is so dumb, but Dan handles it pretty well. Dan also really makes a case talking about how much blood he has on his hands and how he stabbed them all in the back. Hopefully they all realize how good of a game he played.
Ian just keeps repeating “took my fate into my own hands,” it’s really not very effective. Get some more variety, fellow.
During their final speeches, Ian expresses his disgust with Dan, then highlights his win record and then talks about how much Dan backstabbed them. It’s really not a great speech. Meanwhile, Dan goes after flattery and sucking up, plus he highlights how much of a mastermind he was in the game. He really was and honestly, we will be so surprised if Ian wins.
The Non-Jury Hamsters
I’m surprised Jodi’s such a good sport coming back, because she got so much royally screwed by this season. Anyway, Janelle is hilarious, calling Danielle out on her lies and totally defending Dan for being awesome and saying it’ll be a travesty if he doesn’t win. Totally agree, Janie.
Chen then has to ask Frank for his opinion and Frank, like the big sore loser that he is, calls Dan a “scavenger” and says he doesn’t respect him. Shove it, Frank. And also, shove it, Shane. Shane starts laying into Dan about his lying and stuff, but that’s what this game is all about. Please.
Here we go. The votes go Danielle for Dan, Shane for Ian (bitter), Jenn for Ian, Joe for Ian, Frank for Ian and that’s all she wrote. Man, that sucks. Ian played a good game, but Dan should’ve totally won that. Janelle was 100% right. The fact that Danielle was the only Dan vote is disgusting. Those bitter Betties suck.
Speaking of barf-worthy, Frank wins America’s Player.
What a seriously disappointing ending to what turned out to be a pretty good season. Blech. What do you think, hamster fans?