big brother 14 premiere 'Big Brother 14' premiere: Janelle and Boogie return, one person goes home right awayIt’s here, y’all! The “Big Brother 14” premiere. It’s like summer is officially starting. We are super pumped to be covering for you again this year, particularly because we really liked this year’s cast at the press junket day.

Julie welcomes us, looking absolutely fetching in red jumpsuit, and we can barely contain our excitement. Also, someone’s leaving right away? We wonder if that was planned or if somebody quits …. hmmm.

It’s great that the mentors are coaches, not players. We don’t mind former players returning, per se, but it’s so unfair when they are just regular competitors. This is a great twist on that twist.

The New Hamsters

You can read our thoughts about the new houseguests and their chances here. Based on our press day impressions, Shane, Kara and Willie are going to be competitors. We also are hoping for a Jodi/Jenn/Wil alliance. But we’ll probably end up being completely wrong.

Our least favorite? JoJo. And her clips do nothing to dissuade that feeling. Hmph.Also, for those of you who are mad about Russell’s brother in the cast – Willie actually made a great impression. He’s smart like Russell, but more likable and less abrasive. Jenn also made a great impression.

As far as the hot girls go, Kara seems pretty with it, Danielle seems too nice and Ashley the jury’s still out on. She might have more going on than meets the eye, but she’s also kind of
Rachel levels of annoying.

The House

The house is very fun and colorful this year, love it. The intros are hilarious. Joe saying Wil could be one of the prettiest girls in the house is totally true. When we met Wil, we were a little blown away by how pretty he is.

Willie told us he isn’t going to confess to being Russell’s brother, but Ian has his suspicions right away. We knew Ian would know stat. And speaking of Ian, it is absolutely laugh-out-loud awesome that Ashley takes a shine to him. Oh my god, we want that to happen now so badly!

The guys are totally smitten with Kara and we were too – she’s stunning in person. She says she’s not going to reveal she’s a Playmate of the Year. We probably wouldn’t either. And Shane turns a few female heads (as he should).

The Mentors

Boogie from BB2 and BB7, Dan from BB10, Janelle from BB6 and BB7 and Britney from BB12 are the mentors. We’re pumped about Britney and Dan, we loed them. We are not as pumped about Boogie and Janelle. And yes, we realize a lot of people out there love Janelle. We do not.

She was so high-school-mean-girl during Season 6 that we could not stand her. And she’s not dumb, so when she pulls that simpering, dumb act, it makes us want to punch her. People have already started giving us crap about this in the comments — guess what? We’re all entitled to our opinions. That doesn’t mean we can’t say nice things about her if she comes on this season and is awesome. But just putting it out there, we are not on Team Janelle based on her past seasons.

Now Britney, on the other hand, is one of the funniest girls to have been on the show (once Monet left and she stopped being bitchy all the time). And Dan is a sweetheart. Boogie needs to just go away. He’s like the “Road Rules” Dan of these shows now — viewers’ parents remember you from the first time around. Boogie was too old for his persona 10 years ago. Now he’s like 45 or something.

Don’t get us wrong — we love Dr. Will (best reality competitor ever) and Chilltown’s phone calls during BB7 were hilarious. But Boogie without Will is lame.

The hamsters are told about the twist – each mentor gets three houseguests that they will coach all summer. If one of their hamsters wins, that coach wins $100,000. Is that all they’re being offered? Surely not. The upfront pay must also be pretty solid too.

When Boogie walks in with a “Daddy’s home” and Ian comparing him to A-Rod?! Gag me with a spoon. Then hilariously, Dan tells Willie looks like Russell. That’s what he should do — play it up that that’s what he hears all the time.

But all the mentors are convinced he’s Russell’s brother and not buying it at all.

Twist No. 2

The houseguests are told that there are only 11 keys and that one of them is leaving right off the bat. Wow, that’s harsh. That seems so unfair. They should get to be there the two weeks (or so) that go by before the first elimination.

It’s time for the coaches to pick teams. Britney picks Shane, Willie and Jojo; Boogie picks Frank, Ian and Jenn; Janelle picks Wil, Ashley and Joe; and Dan picks Kara, Danielle and Jodi. We think Dan and Britney got the strongest teams, but we’ll see.  

Head of Household competition

They’re playing in teams for this one, with the coach deciding which player on the winning team is the HOH. And the coach on the last place team has to send somebody home right away. YIKES. This is a great twist so far.

And Dan’s team is not the group of aces we thought they would be. Yikes. The teams end finishing Britney, Janelle, Boogie and then Dan. Bummer. Jodi is not long for this game, we fear. Dan has two really good-looking girls, there’s no way he’s sending them home.

Willie is made HOH by Britney. And Dan is pretty unhappy about sending somebody home, which we agree with. That totally sucks. Plus, why get rid of someone right away? There are only 12 of them, because the coaches (presumably) can’t go on the block. Totally weird and very unfair that someone goes home the first night, we think.

The Decision

Dan smartly observes that Kara is safe. Yeah, she did the best plus she’s pretty and smart. Danielle has come across as very nice and naive at first. But she’s still super pretty and Jodi is older, which is hard in this game. She’s right that she deserves to stay, but nobody should have to go home. 

Jodi goes home. What a bummer, she was one of our faves. Ian observes in the DR that this is cruel and we agree. They put her through this whole process and then toss her out the first night? Weak.

What do you think, “Big Brother fans? Come back to Zap2it later tonight for updates from the live feeds/”Big Brother After Dark,” which start at 1 a.m. ET/10 p.m. PT starting tonight. Or  sign up for the live feeds%name 'Big Brother 14' premiere: Janelle and Boogie return, one person goes home right away so you can follow along with all the fights and crazy shenanigans on what we think is going to be a great season.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."