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It’s Tuesday and things are still heating up in the Big Brother 8 house. We start this show as we start all shows: with more previouslys than we need. The LNC split in two when Dustin, Amber, Jameka and Jessica vote to keep Eric, leaving only Dick, Daniele and Zach voting for his departure … which was quite a shock to them. Jessica won the HoH and put Dick and Daniele on the block. Let’s see how long it takes before Dick’s head explodes!

After the nomination ceremony, Jessica puts the obvious in words by saying "now the awkwardness begins" and I despair that our cast has discarded the best thing this show had going for it: jazz hands. I probably mourn them alone, but I DO mourn them.

Dick and Daniele talk about how they feel they’ve misplayed the game entirely, Daniele turning the focus onto her alone (as per usual, I swear her and Jen could have a competition over who is more self absorbed) by asking her father "how do you think I feel? I feel like an idiot!" Oh, Daniele, there is more than enough idiocy to go around in the Big Brother house! Proving this, Dick offers to crush her vitamins into her slop in case they are too big for her to swallow. Which says all sorts of terrible things about Nick.

I should sit on my hands more.

Dick strategizes that he must not only get 5 people in the house to hate him, he must get them to despise him. Which … they already do, Dick. But, he takes it upon himself to launch a full scale attack by getting out of bed in the middle of the night and retrieving a pot lid and large spoon from the kitchen and going to Dustin’s bed to practice his cymbal skills. He then marches into the small bedroom and starts mocking Amber by acting like a loud, obnoxious cocktail waitress who cries about being a single mom and calls her a disaster on two legs. Then he executes a pirouette and an effeminate sway and blows kisses to Dustin while calling him "Princess", and then calls down the Power of JAYSUS for Jameka. He should have given the west-side hand gesture in place of the prayer hands, though.

After that rousing wake up call, it’s time for the PoV competition, which will be played by Jessica, Dick and Daniele, who pull their ping pong balls to choose Jameka (causing Dick to yell "Hallelujah! Praise Jaysus! The magic ping pong ball chose Jameka!"), Dustin (causing Dick to prance around and sing "Ooo! Princess is playing!"), and Zach (causing Dick to … wait, who?). The game is called Shot for Shot and it starts with each player being separated and one by one called to the back yard, where there are 10 stations set up with different … well, I can’t call them drinks, so let’s just say liquids. Liquids that perhaps consist of things such as burger, fries and a banana shake or bacon, eggs and OJ (not the football player/murderer. Allegedly!) or perhaps just blood or maple syrup. Maybe. The amount of concoctions they finish will determine how many shots they get in a giant croquet game, which Eric is hosting.

In the actual drinking segment, Zach throws the PoV and Jessica throws up. When it is revealed that Zach earned the fewest shots with only 3, Dustin camera shrieks "Who is this clown?" and I don’t think anyone can really answer him. All the members take their turns at the modified croquet, vying for the most points, but it comes down to Dick and Dustin who each earned the most shots. Dick beats Dustin by 1 point and he’s about as adult as you would expect him to be about it. Which is to say he goes back to prancing and blowing Dustin kisses and yelling "Take that, bitches!!" at the other housemates. 

The Nerd Herd looks ill as Dick camera talks that everything is going as planned. Well, everything except the last vote and being on the block with his daughter is going as planned. The NH meets in the HoH where Dustin cuts to the heart of it all by pointing out that Dick is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t – if he uses the PoV for his daughter then he’s out and they will go after her next week and if he uses it for himself, he’s the most selfish person in the house and they will go after him next week. Wait, that almost made sense to me. I think I need to go lie down.

My headache is just starting to subside when Dick’s theme music blares back in to announce his power trip like a bad 80s VJ as he tells Jameka "I’m a better Christian than you" causing Jameka to brush by Daniele and mutter  "I thought he was your god too, but I guess I was wrong" which kind of proves Dick right. Sadly, this also means she just punched Daniele’s whine button and Daniele loses it, squealing at Jameka "You have not even looked at MMMEEEeeeeee!!"  I doubt she has spent anytime worrying how Zach feels when not even the cameras look at him.

Jameka attempts to talk to Daniele about what she said, but Daniele continues to spout off victim phrases and then runs upstairs to the HoH room, where she starts crying and shrilling to all the HGs (who are all hiding from Dick) about how she’s apologized for her father since day 1, but no one has come up and said to her "I’m sorry you had to go through that with him"  (actually, Jen kinda did, and that also pushed the whine button), and how much it sucks to be her because no one will even look at her. That is not poor editing on my part, by the way – she repeats how no one looks at her ad nauseum. Or do I mean ad narcissism?

Jameka points out that Daniele had the chance to get to know them all but she chose to shack up with Nick instead and now it’s too late, she doesn’t know any of them and they don’t care to know her. Daniele tries to respond but Jameka jumps on every word she tries to speak until Amber tells her to cool it. Eric jumps in, noting that Dick is attacking everyone on deeply personal levels, such as Amber’s motherhood, Dustin’s sexuality, Jameka’s religion, his character, etc, and they can’t tolerate it anymore and it should disgust Daniele too, yet she still hangs out with him all the time. She comes back with her usual "this is affecting my life outside this house" and bitches that no one understands what it’s like to be in the house with a family member until finally Jameka apologizes because it’s clear nothing will stop Daniele’s ear splitting whine.

Daniele grins in confessional that it was all strategy, and retreats to the round room with her dad who congratulates her on her performance. She thanks him and then gets him to agree to stop with the asshatery. Going for the gold, she goes back to whining about how she hates everyone in the house and that it sucks to be an outsider (think of Zach!!) and that the only person she doesn’t want to see evicted is her dad and he is certain to be leaving. There is no pleasing this girl: she is miserable if her dad stays, miserable if he leaves. Listen up, Nick! You escaped!

Outside, Jen asks Jessica if she is going to nominate her and Jessica says Dustin offered himself as a pawn – making America’s Player gleeful, since he was tasked with trying to nominate Dustin anyway. America also tasked Eric with giving Jessica the silent treatment, and it’s no shock that he fails at this task when Jen puts it in Jessica’s head that maybe Dick and Dustin have some warped alliance. Jessica runs to ask Eric, who is hiding from her under his covers. He tries to fake sick, but since he tells her a medic saw him and told him to lay down and not talk, he fails. And also makes Jessica wonder if Eric is in on the warped alliance too. Which makes her start to cry. Where are Amber’s tears this week??

In the end, the chips fall as expected with Dick using the PoV on Daniele. Jessica takes Dustin up on his offer, perhaps in hopes of hearing his witty speech about being happy to be the courtesy flush for the pile of crap next to him. This means the HGs and America must chose between Dick, the rock and roll dad most likely to push someone to suicide or homicide and Dustin, that family friendly homosexual, who camouflages his true nature by not being a drag queen.  Who will be evicted?

Posted by:Jessica Paff